Dear Mothers

Dear Parents of Vogelweh Elementary School Students,

I would like to make a simple, common sense request. If your child is coughing, has a sore throat, a fever or otherwise troublesome indicators of a contagious illness of some kind, please keep them HOME.
Perhaps you, in your divine ignorance, do not understand that one coughs when they are sick because that is what the illness wants them to do... it is a way of the illness replicating. It's simple biology, bitch. Same thing with sneezes and any other kind of excess fluid lost. In Kindergarten- those fluids transfer easily between kids, as they are not yet quite out of that "gross" phase of wipe, scratch, pick, touch and eat with the same hand.
Your dirt-urchin kid does not belong in a classroom with healthy children- like my son- when he/she is sick. I am very sorry for your problems with getting out of work or having no place to put them, these are however your problems- this is a school, not a day care.
When you bring your gutter rat to school coughing, with a sore throat, or a mild fever, you are exposing everyone else to the creeping crud your offspring has caught.
My son has never been so sick in all his life, as he has since he started school... I blame the mothers I see every morning, with snotty faced hacking kids in tow, who think a little cough is no big deal. It's a big deal, simpleton.
When my son is exposed to your kindergarten version of typhoid Mary, he either 1- gets sick, 2- carries it home and gets his baby sister sick or 3-both... in which case, usually I will get sick, as will my husband.
I am afraid your boss is going to have to take no for an answer, you twat. Your husband is gonna have to tell his C.O. that your kid is ill. It's called good parenting skills... I keep my kids home when they are coughing, or have swollen glands, or any other symptoms of a contagion. That's courtesy.... of course because of you- he has been home quite a bit as of late.
Take your child home, and keep him there until he is better... Grow a pair of balls for your boss, and a brain in your head, and keep your mud-bug at home.
Sincerely,

A Concerned Mom