Sad

It is rare times in my life when I find myself looking around an empty room and feel sad. So often with the hustle and bustle of my life as wife and mom, aka superwoman, I cherish and treasure every single moment of solitude and quiet I can find for myself.
Not tonight.
My husband is far away from me, and though he would never admit it, he is not thinking much about me tonight. He is on a mini-vacation this weekend... Beach front hotel room, plans for hours, and a friend to share it with. He is having a great time. Good for him. I am sitting on a couch in my living room, looking at an empty spot next to me on the couch where he should be.
Soon, I will go to bed, and toss and turn for much of the night. I am chronic insomniac anyways, but him being gone makes it worse. I fond myself half awake during the wee morning hours reaching across the bed to find a void in the blankets instead of the warm body that usually occupies them. There is food leftover in the kitchen- Feeding one less person is hard to get used to.
One less wet towel in the morning, one less glass on the coffee table.
Of course it has it's up side too- I don't have to watch baseball, or snooker, or curling... In fact I always have the remote. I can also make things for dinners that he normally wouldn't eat. I can stay up all hours indulging my insomniac ways without his reprimand...
I would rather have him here.
Next week may suck even worse- as he won't be in SC with a friend, but back in his home- the old stomping grounds- with family and friends... and not much time for the "same old shit" of mine that I want to talk to him about.... They are things that could wait- and may not matter tomorrow- but I wish I had someone to share them with.
I hate being on the phone with him sometimes, as I am feeling like a bore by comparison to whatever he may be doing.... Like I am a necessary impedance he must deal with in his otherwise fun-filled ventures. He never has much to say when I talk to him. He doesn't ask questions about me, or my day, or my activities- indeed why would he, when he knows nothing really goes on here. Snotty noses, and weather warming, kids fighting, and laundry to do...
Lonely, isolated, and insignificant is how I feel right now, and it sucks.