Stupid Cat

This is Loki... He was named for the Norse god of mischief.

He's kind of stupid.
We took this picture as he was laying on my table- which he thinks he owns. He, as naturally he would, hates baths. He screams like a little girl when he is in the tub. Standing outside the door you would think I was attacking him with an Epilady.
Right now he is done eating. I know he is done eating because I can hear his food bowl clanging against the cabinet door... It makes this noise because, as I previously stated, he is rather stupid... When he has finished eating, he attempts to bury his food bowl, to keep away the would be non-exsistant scavengers that might sneak in and steal it...
Yes, you heard it here... my cat thinks he is going to bury his dinner leftovers in a solid HARDWOOD FLOOR.
Not that he is done eating. He is simply taking a break... as he will be back there for more crunchins and munchins in about twenty minutes. I don't know how he reasons the fact that his bowl is, in fact, not hidden, but he goes back every half an hour or so and eats more... then digs more imaginary holes in the parkay flooring.
My cat does not play with toys, or string. He does not scamper about like a "normal" one year old cat. The extent of his exercise comes from attacking our other cat Homer, (yes, just like Simpson, as he is a fat ass lazy slob, with an ass on him like a forty-doller mule), and caterwauling exactly 25 minutes after we go to bed- no matter what time of night that may be.
His favorite thing is the world is watching me do "The Shit-Box Show", that is to say, when I clean out his poop bin, and then walk arrogantly by me as I finish, as HE has to be the first to lay a new load in the clean sand; it is, to him, a moral imperative.
He does not view us as masters, owners, landlords, proprietors, or sovereigns of this household. To him, we are simply staff. Indeed, the only one in the family he respects at all is my 6 year old son (and then only slightly...).
When I pick Loki up, he looks as though he is merely tolerating the attention lavished upon him. Let my son pick him up... and he is content to be slung over Brenden's shoulder passively as if he were a sack of grain, and be carried anywhere. He does not run away when they reach their destination, but proceeds to lay there and suck up all the love and attention like a sponge.
No such loyalty for me- I am just "The one who picks up my shit and feeds me" to his royal hind-end, HRM Loki.( I suppose everyone has thier part to play in life.)
I am off to bed. Would that I had a stop watch to substantiate my claim- The one about his nightly singing habits. He will saunter up and down the hallway, (which by the by has a GREAT echo and amplification effect,) 25 minutes from now, to prove his dickheadedness, and go out of his way, just as I fall asleep, to wake me and remind me who owns this house.