Web Game et al

I find lots of interesting and time consuming games on the web. This is my latest favorite. Very stress relieving. I especially like the dismembered hand.
SQUISH

I am ass-deep immersed these days...in sewing for halloween, and "The Cold, Part II". The goat-sucking assholes at the heat plant have yet to turn the crank... despite the fact that I walked my kids to school this morning through the brisk 39 degree air... I am frozen to the core, and I want to find someone to choke. But hey, I love waking up in the morning and having my teeth try to rattle out of head while I am sitting on the crapper. Especially when the toilet seat has that extra cold bite to it- where you think your ass will stick to it, like a tongue on a frozen pole at the playground.

Don't much care for being cold. Especially when I have a sore throat and a headache, and sore sinuses. Hopefully the lower night temperatures will drop that average so they have to turn the heat on. In the mean time, I am going to go stand about 30 minutes in a hot shower, so I can thaw-it seems to work for dinner meats in the sink. There may be a big Chris-sicle here tomorrow morning.

God Vs. Darwin

This Article is but one of many explaining the taking of a case to court to keep "Creationism", or as it is now called- "Intelligent Design" out of the public schools as a part of science curriculum. I say, "Hell Yes!".... Keep it out of my child's school.

Firstly- I am all about Darwin. Proof is a real convincing argument. Those who can't buy into the "theory" of evolution must seriously think that earthquakes are from God getting angry, not tectonic plates shifting.... as tectonics is also still dubbed a "theory". Creationism just doesn't make sense. Some "greater being" made it all happen, and somehow put the mysteries of fossils and carbon dated evidence here...for what? To test our faith? To confuse us? All the science is wrong on dates from millions of years ago, and all the things on the earth, nay in the universe, are no more than a few thousand years old. Never mind the fact that it takes millions of years for the light from some stars to get to us at all for us to see it. (Genesis tells us that in the beginning there was NOTHING- so the whole of everything was created in the span of a week, right?) The speed of light, and red shift must therefore be a galactic physics fuck up too? It doesn't add up... It doesn't belong on the blackboard of a public school.

I do not want a school teacher, an employee of the state, telling my son of how some greater being created the earth in seven days, not accounting for the scientific evidence of carbon dating, fossilization, and geologic proof. If I thought it was something for my son to believe in, I would teach him these things at home- since it deals with that whole "greater being" thing. I would prefer to tell him about God creating the universe using Thomas Aquinas' argument that there can not be an "infinite regression of causes".

The class room is certainly not the forum for a story told thousands of years ago by men who didn't know what an atom or microbe was, trying to explain the existence of life on our world... Ideas like "millions of years" back then could get you killed. The whole history of religion exposes the general flaw in the logic of "Intelligent Design". If it was a science, people wouldn't have been ostracized or stoned to death for nay saying it.

I may hate most of what the ACLU stands for, but I will have to align myself behind them on this one.... at least until someone digs up the fossil of God's fingernail, and actually offers some intelligent and testable proof. Until then, keep it out of my kid's classroom. I certainly hope it won't be an issue in a DoDds school- the military should be all about church and state separation, right?

Sparse

My posts have been few.
I have been distracted by other events... Especially with Halloween coming and the ensuing sewing season ramping up to full swing.
My computer chair broke, and it is terribly uncomfy to sit here and type.... so I shan't tonight. More tomorrow.

Government Tantrum

Upon reading one of my favorite blogs, I found the Army has decided to throw a fit about the bloggers writings, and threatened him with an Article 15. Anyone know what that is? Oh... click here for the legal definition of it.

Enlisting in the Armed Forces doesn't mean you give up your first amendment rights to call bullshit when you see it, especially when done with such flare as Sure Fire uses. Not like he posts secrets or threats to national security. There are so few military blogs out there that point out the ridiculous crap we face daily in today's military- mostly we find the support pages and the "Screw You if you don't like Bush". pages- as if saying "Bush Sucks", or "The war was a bad idea", is a personal attack on the sons and daughters of our Armed Forces.

Please visit Pass The Brass and show your support to this fine blogger. Send an email note to the upper-up brass at Fort Bragg if you have means to do so, and tell them to worry about important things- like warmongering and the safety of our troops in harms way- not the freelance web- writings of a humorously gifted author.

Email Jokes

I get tons of jokes in my email.. who doesn't?
I like the especially mean, rude and crass jokes, that make fun of people... I got this one today and thought I would share.
(Let me say... I didn't write it- just posting it, so save my e-mail the flaming bombs, okay?)

Thing I have learned from watching the news on TV during the last eight days:
~The hurricane only hit black family's property
~New Orleans was devastated and no other city was affected by the hurricane
~Mississippi is reported to have a tree blown down
~New Orleans has no white people
~The hurricane blew a limb off a tree in the yard of an Alabama resident
~When you are hungry after a hurricane, steal a big screen TV
~The hurricane did 23 billion dollars in improvements to New Orleans: Now the city is welfare, looters and gang free and they are in your city.
~White folks don't make good news stories
~Don't give thanks to the thousands that came to help rescue you, Instead bitch because the government hasn't given you a debit card yet
~Only black family members got separated in the hurricane rescue efforts
~Ignore warnings to evacuate and the white folks will come get you and give you money for being stupid

Thomas H. Scott III
Scott Powerline & Utility Equipment

I also got this from Placebo... It is quite possibly the STUPIDEST joke I have heard in years.

An anteater walks into a bar and says that he'd like a drink. "Okay," says the bartender. "How about a beer?" "Noooooooooo," replies the anteater. "Then how about a gin and tonic?" "Noooooooooo." "A martini?" "Noooooooooo." Finally, the bartender gets fed up and says, "Hey, listen buddy, if you don't mind me asking - why the long no's?"

Chilly

It's that fabulous time of year when my nose begins to resemble a leaky faucet, and my sinuses are like a grease and hair clogged drain. Misery at it's best.... and the timing is prime.

I have come down with my first head cold of the season- and hey! Just in time for the weather change to actually take hold. It was 36 degrees when I got up this morning (outside- inside was about 50).
How cold was it?
It was one of those kind of mornings that produces nipples resembling railroad spikes the second your feet hit the floor below the bed... The kind of cold that can make a mans package look like a fleshy stack of quarters and a tan racquetball, as his testes go running back to the warmth and security of his body heat. That shocking unexpected kind of chill that goes right to the bone, and makes you want to crawl back in bed until it is at least 60 degrees in the house.

Here in German Base Housing, the military has control of the heat, and they haven't turned it on yet, the rat bastards. It has to be below 50 degrees for 3 or 4 nights in a row before they turn it on. Tonight will make 3 nights. Hopefully they might feel gracious and give the knob a spin to "on" a day early, just for shits and giggles. I think a low of 34 constitutes a need for heat ASAP... The only way they turn it on sooner? If the commander decides his little nuts are chilly and shrunk enough for him to want it on. I don't think I want to spend another morning in the kitchen standing in front of an open oven in order to thaw my hands enough to pack lunches.

All this frozen fun and a new head cold to boot! Who could ask for more?! Upon my return home from taking the kids to school, I went into a biblical sneezing fit... the fun kind where I had to stop dead in my tracks, and stand with my legs crossed, so I didn't piss myself with the forcible wracking of my body. This, as naturally it would, set off a coughing spell, as I tried to swallow the golf-ball-o-mucus the sneezing brought on....

It's 8:30 AM. Gonna be a lovely day. Excuse me, I have to go blow my nose.

Drowns him out

I finally saw someone on TV who could make Bush look intelligent....ish.

The Mayor of New Orleans is about as politically retarded as they come. He tells people to come back to the city, but doesn't get his morning memo from the feds who are fixing things, who says... "That's a bad idea".

You would think with all the infighting and finger pointing of these last weeks he would have tried to catch that giant foot before it went flying into his mouth, and inciting more displeasure at the federal government, and their on going efforts to fix the broken city. I am quite sure people would much more appreciate a joint effort of those officials involved, getting their proverbial shit together, and then talking in public about what they can and can't do right now.... Instead of this higgelty pigglety, retards screwing doorknobs, form of administration they are having now.

Now he is on the news outlets back peddling... oh and he did happen to notice the new big storm in bound to the gulf.... And he is saying that New Orleans is closed for incomers. So, although he had to open his fat trap and get peoples hopes up, then get spurned by the feds, then say "Oh, yeah, they're right", then take the hopes of the displaced and lost and kick them down again.... At least he fixed his monumental mouth-diarrhea faux pas.

He has even told people to be ready to evacuate as soon as Wednesday, in light of the impending Rita. He was honest and told them that a surge over 3 feet, and or more than 9 inches of rain will re-flood the city. Wonder if they will take him seriously this time? He seems to be saying it more seriously.

There are, in the end, merits to thinking before speaking, instead of using your mouth and brain like a runaway gumball machine.

For my Friend....

Having been married about the same amount of years as my best friend from high school, we have grown through this craziness called matrimony together... That is until her asshole husband started lying and being secretive, and abusive, both mentally and physically. He's an addict and a drunk. (Mostly a drunk). They have a 4 year old son together. I honestly think she under-estimates the damage his presence does in the boy's life by way of comparison to the harm of a "Broken Home". The home was broken years ago- she just stayed in it, thinking she could fix it alone.

I knew her husband in high school, long before they got together- he was one of the loser kids... He is now a loser adult. His antics have made for the stuff of heartache and disbelief. His lies are not only hurtful, but most times stupid. He drinks too much, he uses drugs, and has been in so many scrapes, half of the LVMPD may know him by name. Even when he "almost" gets caught, the suffering is hers, not his. He sees to that.

I don't know what I can possibly tell her.... as it has to be her decision... so I will say this. I love you and I am here for you- even though I am so far away. If I need to hop a flight to come move you out, I will... If I need to come beat his ass, I can do that too. I may always regret the decision to call Matthew off, when he wanted to go beat the ever living shit out of him.That was 5 years ago when he was hurting you- and he is still doing it today.

I have said it before and say it again, you can and need to do better for yourself than that, and there are some things not worth saving. Not him, and not the faux relationship he has given you. Think of your son, and how it will wound him to grow up with that, instead of a vague memory and weekend visits.

Womanhood's Discoveries

No matter how much soap a man uses- (he could, in fact reduce a full bar down to an infinitely small sliver of transparent film), his ball-sack will always have that "ball-sack smell". Even when still dripping and fresh from a shared shower, when his woman has done the washing of his junk, yep- they still have that distinctive ball-sack aroma. The smell of Scrotum.

Just a little factoid of life I thought I would post about it.

On Sports in the Nuthouse

With the football season finally back, my husband and I can spend at least a few months out of the year watching sports together.

As you may have guessed, I am not a fan of baseball- I find it boring.... Terribly boring. We have come to an agreement in this household regarding MLB. He had to pick 2 teams, and he can watch those games without me being able to wrestle him for the remote, or smack him until he changes the channel. The two teams he picked of course are the two that are ever on- His team, the Boston Red Sox, (whom he swears at and cheers on like a diligent fan should), and the ever hated rival- the Yankees. He watches these games in hopes that they lose.... A lot. I can't say I blame him-

THIS is the face of an arrogant asshole. Nope, never met him- he just looks like a prick... especially during the games. Yep, this guy thinks his shit don't stink... maybe it doesn't- but I have to have someone to make fun of while Kevin is torturing me watching baseball.

I don't like basketball. Kevin makes me sit through curling, and snooker, and a host of other "non-sport sports"... but this time of year, we can unite in fan-ship of a common event.... (other than the Spain feed we get that shows bullfighting- we both love watching guys get gored, and rip up their pretty pants and bright pink socks.)

Football; now that's something I can get behind and go with. This week was rough, as on the season opener, my two favorite teams played each other. Yes, I am a Raiders fan-usually I don't say that out loud.... It's kinda like announcing you are incontinent in a mixed company cocktail party. Let's get a shout-out to other closet Oakland fans... and wish us luck for improvement this year.
I am also a Patriots fan, a serious one.... I have to band wagon with my husband on this one. They used to suck, and we rooted then, (I rooted, Kevin called them dirty names- as any fickle new england fan naturally would). The Pats kick ass now, and we still cheer.

I can quantify what it is about the game I love most... The sound of a man's breath being forcibly expelled from his lungs by the shear force of impact with another player. It's exciting... It's rough, and mean, and I love it. I get giddy from a great pass or run- I get positively exhilarated from a great hit and tackle.

Brett Farve is too old to continue playing football, and should have gone to where old football players go to die when Marino, Elway and Aiken left the field. That's all I have to say about that.

For the record I have a few other favorite teams...

~Anyone playing the Denver Broncos. (especially them. Hate em. A lot. Was so glad to see my prediction come true- Elway retired, the team fell apart.)
~Anyone playing the Dallas Cowboys. (Up yours, Bledsoe, you choke artist!)
~And Anyone playing the Pittsburgh Steelers. (They are tough. I have respect for them- I just wish I didn't have to.)

Welcome back NFL... I missed you.

Toothless

We planned a family outing to the Watson's house last night, and ended up getting there late. As I was making my final preparations to leave, my son came and told me that he had pushed on a tooth and it came loose. This was, of course, an understatement, as he had completely dislodged it from the front half of his gum. So, we had to take pause to pull it out- as we had to facilitate his ability to eat pizza at our friend's house.

He has another one that is loose- I think he going to lose it later today... he is going to drive the tooth fairy into bankruptcy. As he has made a habit of increasing the dollar amount by one dollar every time he loses one- this has been an expensive week. He's gonna break me for sure. In the mean time, he is walking around with a stripper-esque pile of singles.

Maybe he can buy ME lunch.

Enough

Okay, that's it! I've had it.
Can ANYONE talk about anything but that doomed city and the storm? I watch the news- storm coverage. I read the blogs- hurricane relief. I go to cnn.com, hurricane stories. Talk about beating a dead horse...

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE GOING ON?

I can at least see other stories on google news... But I might even enjoy seeing another picture on my TV than the flooded streets of New Orleans, and a bunch of crying, bitching, miserable people. We had planes hit buildings a few years back, and even THEY cut now and then a week later for other stories.

On the way home from running errands this morning, I heard that old 80's song on the radio, "Dirty Laundry". The part where they sang "It's interesting when people die, we love dirty laundry." And that's what this is all about. You bunch of 1-morbid bastards out there watching to see if the news shows bodies floating. 2- you bleeding hearts who stay glued to the television with tears in your eyes, doing NOTHING to help the victims... Do you feel this way when you see some mother's son killed in action in the desert, or are we so immune to it now that we need a new kind of suffering to watch? That young woman and mom of two, with her babies too young to understand "Daddy's not coming home" standing by her side, as they hand her a folded flag in thanks of her sacrifice.... That is not enough heartbreak? No. You have to have "thousands feared dead" and 50%+ of the country up in arms about the city never being able to recover.

And now the media is all about the governmental finger pointing. Whose fault it is...
Anyone think to blame mother nature? Why do you need a head for your chopping block? Can't they come to grips with... "Those of us who stayed when we could have left made a bad choice..." "Those who couldn't leave-it's tragic, but shit happens."? It's life. It was a natural process of weather on the planet. How are you going to assign blame?

I think I will spend my days playing video games and listening to iTunes... at least until they find something else to talk about.

Manly Men... aka... Real men buy rags.

So, I was at the commissary this morning trying my hardest to remember everything I needed, as I left my list sitting right where I wrote it- on the desk. Coming around the corner, I was cut off by a nice looking guy in BDU's making a beeline for the "ladies isle". He didn't quite make eye contact, but he reached with a masculine wedding ringed hand for a box of rubbers... and knocked 4 other boxes of prophylactics to the floor.

Then his buddies came around the corner and started laughing at him, their hands filled with sports drinks and snack foods, and the poor airman cleaned up the smattering of packages from the tiles. They shot me a look and got quiet, as I walked around behind them and down the isle to find the best shit paper and paper towels for my money.

Thinking I was out of earshot, the men picked up the volume of their conversation a bit, and with my sharp mommy-hearing, I picked up on, "Which one should I get? I don't know what she wants."
"Dude, just pick one."
"I don't wanna get the wrong one."
I hardly believed at this point the guy was there for rubbers. Every man knows what kind of condoms he uses... Unless in a sex shop, he isn't gonna be terribly picky about the woman's preference.

Muffled snickers. The main shopper looked towards me again, and reached for the condoms again, but it was obvious he, and his very helpful friends, were shopping for feminine pads. The were pointing at them for heaven's sake. I didn't look directly at them. In fact I had to turn my head, so I didn't openly laugh. I did feel a bit bad for the poor guy getting his balls busted by them, but they soon straightened up and got down to the problem at hand.

Not that I have a problem with a man buying girl needs for his wife or daughter. It is the thing to do. It takes a good husband/father to do it, and we as women think highly of a guy who will. However, a posse of four men, in uniform, standing in front of the wide variety of rags, during duty hours, and trying to figure out which one a woman might need or want is a hilarious site indeed. Like four monkeys trying to fuck a football.... four retards trying to screw a doorknob.

He ultimately ended up selecting a blue bag of "always" brand... and he took the condoms too.

Gotta Have It

I found this site, and I have to say, I may purchase a dozen for all my friends stockings this year for Christmas.
Click here for Keychains

More Big News

Well, Big news as parenthood goes.

My son was trying to eat an apple this afternoon, and watching him try to eat it by peeling his lips back from his molars made me curious. I asked so see his tooth, to which I got a dental gymnastics display- that is to say he could push the damn thing into a horizontal position. It was rather gross.... okay,really gross and creepy looking.

I grabbed the pliers and he closed his mouth up like the soviet block... After many initial tries, and nearly getting my fingers bit off by a bear trap of a mouth, I went digging through my sewing box. Risking life and limb, (mostly limb), I tied a string around the troublesome tooth. Then I handed the ends of said string to my son and told him to pull it out.

He didn't give it the swift yank I recommended, but after about 20 minutes it was no longer horizontal, but hanging by a piece of gum-thread. Being the covert parental unit that I am, I told him to let me look at it, and I promptly pulled it out. He didn't bother to cry but a little bit, and not until after I showed it to him in the palm of my hand- and even then it was barely a sniffle.... I think he was more pissed off that I pulled it out without warning him.

He made a bee-line for the mirror, and I carried the dislodged dentrifice to the living room. Then daddy took this picture, and Brenden has asked I pack him a lunch with a crispy green apple in it for tomorrow.

They grow up so fast!

First Day

Rachel's first day of school!!!

This is the first day in over 6 years that I have been alone in the house... by myself.
I am a little sad.
Post more later when I am done having the sniffles and boo-hooing.

Movie Night

As Kev and I sat here last night, and as the kids slept, we did our typical spacing out of the rest of the world. He played on his websites, and I opted to watch a movie.... Hotel Rwanda. The emotional upsurge I felt was akin to the one I felt watching "And The Band Played On" years ago. I have to say the latter of the two movies really pissed me off more, but Hotel Rwanda is a terrible and fabulous story of survival and the human spirit. And I'll never watch it again. Too heart breaking.

Especially knowing the exact same kind of genocide is going on today in Darfur, with the same stupid debates going on in the halls of world power about how and who should stop it, instead of just nutting up, doing the right thing, and stopping it.

Week One, All Done

Today was the last day of my son's first week of school. He really seems to enjoy it. He is not in a typical first grade class, but a multi-age class. He goes to school with first, second and third grade kids. It sounded like a good program, so we signed him up for it.

Our kids are also signed up for soccer. Although I don't fit into the mold of a "soccer mom", it is fun to let them get out and act crazy. It helps cut down on the in-house ya-ya.... At least a little bit.

I still have to deal with the monstrous guilt of knowing that I have downstairs neighbors who must daily listen to the thunder of my kids playing above their heads. The kids have gotten better, and I dare say, we even have better neighbors than we used to- but it still makes me wince to wonder what that must be like.

Then again, I have to climb up 4 flights of stairs on commissary day, and they don't.... so to hell with em.