Morning Wood

As the sun rose to it's zenith yesterday, I went in to our bedroom, quiet and darkened, to awaken my husband from his long slumber- as I was tired of him sleeping while I struggled to keep the children quiet. I laid down behind my man, ever so gingerly, and gently began to wake him.

Now, my husband being a strapping, albeit typical man, rolled from beneath the protective warmth of the sheets, and the front of his shorts stuck out, in pitched tent style, as he bumbled off to the bathroom... of course I had to make a comment about the boner he was sporting, and giggle. Kevin said something about "Shut up..." and "Stop picking on me...".

(Cue comedic element: children.) They came into the room, curious about why mommy was laughing, just in time to hear daddy say in a hilariously pathetic tone from the bathroom "I can't pee."
"Why not?"
...dramatic silent pause... "Because, I can't pee."
Let it begin. I was laughing my ass off, face buried in a pillow to stifle it. His statement had sent the kids into fits of giggling... "Ha,ha,ha. Daddy can't pee.". This was not the end of the big funny.

Kevin shuffled out of the bathroom, and though he had attempted to hide his morning wood under his shirt and sleep shorts, it was still blazingly apparent... not just to me, but to the kids as well- Now, thankfully they are far too young to understand what that is, or why it is that way- but they found it side-splitting funny. Between her gasps for air, Rachel announced, "Daddy's Pee-pee is all pumped up!", while pointing at his shorts. Indeed, he looked ready for a human joust. Our son had to join right in and chimed in with the "Pumped up" statement while pointing his own finger. They were both on the floor doubled over as Kev left the room with a heavy sigh, sporting an embarrassed smirk and his prize winning boner.

Although I felt kinda bad for my poor husband, being the butt of the kid's joke, I couldn't stop laughing (screaming laughter) myself. I have now seen a 5 year old girl make a grown man blush, and run away like a little kid who got de-pantsed on the playground in third grade.