Nothing On

AFN sucks it. Sucks it bad.
I pay 39 Euro a month for cable TV (that's about 50 dollars), and this buys me the opportunity to spend 75% of my TV watching time channel flipping, like an unmedicated Tourette's patient, though all 9, (oooh, a whole 9), of my channels, hoping that this time around will find a program of interest that wasn't there 45 seconds ago.

AFN has also shown me the true power of propaganda, as we see no commercials here. Instead we are flooded with public service messages, the base commander (who looks like one of those troll dolls does his eyebrows) talking incessantly, and other blends of ideas- from american military history sound-bytes to the importance of operational security. It's quite an education.

On the menu we have 6 kinds of AFN... that's the Armed Forces Network, run by AFRTS- that's right- "AFARTS". We do get quality prime time programming from all the major stateside networks. We get them a year or more later. So- Enterprise is not over, and those who watch Lost are oblivious to the fact that they did in fact open "The Hatch". Our only saving grace? Shows like Survivor are shown with only a 36 hour delay. Gracious of them, no?

A new addition to our line up is AFN Movie- where we get the chance to see all those wonderfully hacked up old movies they show on late night NBC just before they run the national anthem. I especially like the "After School Specials" and "Danielle Steel" flicks from the 1980's... But hey, they just premiered "Ice Age" so how bad can it be?

So, here I sit blogging- waiting for my one hope- the BBC feed we get- as some nights they show a nice line up of US Prime-time Cop and Detective Shows, such as SVU and CSI. They are only a half a season behind- plus they have BBC Learning- the insomniac's dream. Many a night I have stared bleary-eyed at the television until 4 am, learning wonderful things about glacial ice flows and the Battle Of Baden Hill.

I have had to find find other outlets for my down time than my one-eyed mind fucker. If you have cable- feel blessed- as you have so much more to surf through while bitching about there being nothing on.