Raising Them Right

As parents, we live in perpetual zone of chaos and worry. Every mom worries about the approach of the age when drugs, alcohol, and peer pressure are going to be real issues in our kids daily lives. Luckily, that is a bridge I do not have to jump off of just yet.

What I do worry about is raising them without ignorance, prejudice, and irrational fears of others. My kids, at the tender ages of 5 and 7 know nothing about civil rights, even the civil war. They have never heard the "N" word, except when it might occasionally be said on TV, and they don't know what "gay" means. It is not that we shield them from these realities in life, but we do make sure to not cast anyone different in any way from us in a negative light. It is important for them to know that they are no better or worse than anyone else.

The worry creeps in for me thinking of the first time my beautiful boy comes home upset because some playground bully called him "fag", and he doesn't know what it means, but it hurt his feelings... Or he hears another child call his friend a "N" and he comes to me to find out what that is and why the other child said it..

As trite as it sounds it is so much different than it was for us. Our parents grew up during the Rosa Parks, MLK days. Their adolescence was steeped in the civil rights movement, and we were the kids learning from those grown ups... not all of whom were educated about and comfortable with diversity; especially if they came from places that saw rioting first hand. I suppose it is the equivalent of today's New Yorkers ass deep in the lessons of 9-11 trying not to be prejudiced against Muslims.

Yesterday the movie "Glory" was on. Great film. The media has been buzzing about the "Gay Cowboy Movie". I don't believe that shielding my children from these critical lessons of our past is any kind of answer. I would prefer they hear it here, from me, in an environment that they can ask questions in, than in school from some gutter-mouth ignorant kid. I know it is not always possible, but how can I teach them before they hear it that these ideas are bad and hurtful without tainting them in the first place?

How do you explain to a 7 year old boy about homosexuality when he doesn't know what sexuality is in the first place? How can I make my daughter understand that there were some very bad things that happened a long time ago to those people because their skin was a different color? Sounds simple enough, until you think ahead to the barrage of "But, why, Mommy's". A dissertation on the evils of slavery or gay bashing to a kindergartner is not what is called for here.

As a wise woman once said... "As hard as you think motherhood will be, you end up wishing it was that easy."

Speechless

Whilst surfing my usual sites this morning, I ran across this link... and really I have nothing I can say about it... Except how disturbing it is that a man would post for the countless millions around the world that he does it 7 times a day.
To go along with that.. I offer you this equally disturbing post by same said sicko for the women among us. I never knew that other cultures were more uptight than Americans when it came to this kind of stuff.

Test for you

Thanks to Placebo, we have todays link for fun.
Enjoy the Intelligence test
It' quite challenging.

Shipping and Shopping

One major draw back to living here is the things I need vs. the things I can get locally.
Since we all know, AAFES sucks, I have a new challenge to not screw up my mother's wedding by making dresses that don't match from more than 5000 miles away. They have to match in both style and color- 'twas most entertaining to get that "Are you serious" look from the chic in the fabric department of the BX when I asked for some other color of satin than white... as if I had some nerve even asking for such a ridiculous thing in a fabric section.

Since none of the pre-made flower girl dresses are appropriate for her ceremony, I will be making the dress for my little girl... and I nary trust the monitor to match the colors- especially since all the colors I am trying to match are from different websites, and I have no physical sample.

I could go downtown and pay a jacked up price plus exchange rate- but that is SO not my style.

I am stuck with my ingenuity again of getting around a problem caused by geography and lack of good help and a decent system at AAFES to accommodate the special needs of customers. Even if the silly bastards could order what I need- the warehouses in the states haven't heard of these new inventions called "airplanes" that can deliver products in a matter of days. They use slow boats- which puts the wait time on anything at about 8 weeks. My car took 8 weeks to get here. That made sense... but special order items for a retail chain? Can you imagine your local good store telling you it would take 8 weeks to get in a certain brand of cat food or cleaning supplies? Probably not, as they would lose business.

AAFES relies on the fact that we have few if any other options. Dickheads.

Can't Tonight.

It seems with all the shit hitting multiple fans around here the last few weeks, I have had little time to post.
I will rectify that in the morning... for now, I am off to bed to obsess upon what to write for you tomorrow. Something that you will find amazing, or funny, or outrageous. As is my style.
For now, I am too tired to put together a cohesive and sentient thought.

Searching

Hands down, this search wins for the totally screwed up hit of the month.
3abn black hills diet for swollen ankles
I pulled this off my stats today.

What scares me... there is a diet on the Jesus channel for swollen ankles?

MENstruation

While I am often convinced of the evil nature of men... I am more so on these days.
There is no way it was ever a woman's idea to create a semi-diaper type of application to control the flow of menstruation. No women would ever think that a mattress taped to the inside of her underwear- with wings that 50% of the time feel the need to stick to that delicate skin down there, and pull hair- in order to facilitate the hiding of one's monthly flow from the outside world was a good idea. No woman would have thought rags were the thing to do.

Men, I think, also invented Brassieres for the control of breasts. No woman would have volunteered to have her tits pulled up and strapped to her shoulder in uncomfortable torture devices in order to make for a perky profile. The breast things are bound for all of us to fall at some point, becoming a sagging shadow of their youthful glory.... And some man, somewhere thought... "Hey- I will make a strapping system to give the illusion of perky titties- even though when she takes it off, her nipples may knock her on the knees. That is the wonder of the wonder bra.

I am grumpy and emotional... I had best stop writing before I say something that I may have to retract later... But I will end with... "Mother Nature is a Whore!"

Ooga, Ooga

For those who have not yet seen it... This is disturbing!
I never knew my life was lacking- until I realized I had never seen David Hasselhof FLAPPING and flying thru the air- as if on his way to light at Capistrano.... and then he caught a fish in his mouth, and danced with it hanging from his teeth. No joke.

Thanks to Kerewin for the link!

Changing Expectations.

Once upon a time....
There was a little girl with blonde hair and true blue eyes that had a dream of a knight in shining armor. The man of her dreams, tall, dark and handsome, he would come for her, and sweep her off her feet and take her to his castle. They marry in a victorian splendor wedding of style with bells ringing and beautiful people all around them. Prince Charming. This was how she defined her perfect man.
Once upon a time...
There was a young woman, with body blossoming and mind fresh, Hair of golden brown and eyes of aqua green, who dreamed of a life spent with a Doctor or Lawyer in a suburban palace. Her gorgeous catch of a man came home each night with flowers and candies, and a glint of passion in his eyes that she had seen so often in movies. They had candle light dinners every night. Rich Business Man. This was how she defined the perfect man for her.
Once Upon a time....
There was a grown and voluptuous young woman with milk chocolate hair and piercing green eyes who dreamed of a man who was worthy of her greatness. She imagined a man who was the doctor, and knight all in one, and so much more. She envisioned a tenderhearted man with deep thoughts, and razor wit. The perfect balance of physical beauty and intellect. Socrates MENSA Guy. This is how she defined the perfect man.

Once Upon a time....
A young woman with milk chocolate hair and pale green eyes met a man who was neither scholar, nor hero, not a knight, nor a doctor. She met a man with a flashing brilliant smile who could make her laugh, and made her feel safe. He had no house, and no money, no car... He had a true and devoted heart, which he offered her, should she want it. He did not bring offerings of flowers and candle light- but of stability and honor.
He takes the trash out and plays with her children. He comes home every night to sit with her, talk with her, and still makes her laugh. She sees a man doing dishes and helping wash clothes between his hours at work, and finds it sexier than all the romance in the world. The Husband. This is how she defines the perfect man.

Think

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every
four persons is suffering from some sort of mental
illness. Think of your three best friends -- if
they're okay... then it's you."

What gets me is that I think of MY three best friends... and we are all fucked in the head. That must be quite a few "straights" out there to compensate for my little ring of the world.

I Said No....

With the release of the all new Apple shit at the MacWorld a few days ago, I have been suffering the endless rambling of my husband. He is fighting the good fight of convincing me that we need a laptop. Not just any laptop, we need a mac that can run winblows. We need a new mac Powerbook.

Except that we don't need one... I don't think we need a powerbook, an iBook, or any such thing at all. What we do need is a big fat savings account, and less technology around here. The G5 with 2 monitors, the kids eMac, the 61" TV with all the accouterments, 2 x-boxes, a shit-load of HD space (that is SHITLOAD), an n64, 2 TVs in the play room.... and a partridge in a pear tree. We also have the obligatory colorful iMacs collecting dust in storage.

We have enough frickon computers. In the last 3 years we have given Steve Jobs lots of money. LOTS. Not that I dislike Apple, or Steve Jobs. They are my heros... but I do not want to give him our yearly kick-back from Uncle Sam for another computer.

This debate is beginning to sound like the Coke/Pepsi thing we have had going on in our house for all the years we have been married, the result of which is a fridge stocked with Squirt and Dr. Pepper.

The Hub is convinced it will make our trip to the states so much easier, as we can directly download the pictures to a computer. I think we should just get another 1 gig CF card. A laptop costs... 1500? 2000? A CF Card is about 100 bucks. How many pictures does he plan on taking, really?! But as I said, he is fighting the good fight... It may end up with me saying no, even as he unpacks the damn thing from the box. We'll see.

Moral Imperative

It's girl scout cookie time.

This means it is a must for you to go out and buy at least 2 boxes of Thin Mints, and throw them in the freezer until after dinner. Send the kids to bed... early, and once they are fast asleep, pour a glass of milk or a cup of coffee and sit on the couch in a pair of ugly assed baggy sweats, and cookies in hand.

Eat entire box of said Minty Chocolaty goodness. No napkins allowed. I find it helpful to keep one sleeve in the freezer while you devour the first in a gluttonous frenzy. While chewing remind yourself how this, like Christmas, comes once a year. Think not of what you are consuming for it's lack of nutrition, but for the emotional ties it has with your own long gone days of girl scouts... and how your mom always bought the most boxes to get you that silly stuffed pegasus animal, or the little stuffed eagle. Plus, you had the perk of having all the goodies left in the house.

I, myself, relish the memories of eating frozen thin mints while watching classic cartoons with mom, laughing our asses off at Tom and Jerry, with mouths full of black paste carpeting our teeth. (This is not a childhood memory, mind you. We still watch cartoons together.)

Don't feel guilty about it until tomorrow, when the kids find the empty box on top of the trash can, and you realize how many calories and grams of fat you have ingested. Promise yourself to never do it again.

Tired

Spent last night alone... First time in a long time I have actually felt like a military wife, as the hub got called into work at 11 p.m. I didn't sleep so well without him around.. but he did call this morning, and he even brought me breakfast upon his return home at 8:30.
Currently he is comatose in bed, as I suspect he will be into the afternoon hours. The house is as quiet as usual during the kids school day, but I will have to tip-toe about getting my stuff done today, as not to wake him. Not that scrubbing toilets and sweeping floors of never-ending debris is a noisy process anyways.

Free is good. I like free.

We are going to the States in April. Our first trip home in over 3 years. It will be a whirlwind adventure from Atlantic to Pacific. Since my dad lives in California, we plan to take the kids to Disneyland, Sea World, Etc. All the parks and sights we can cram into 2 weeks on the west coast.
Anheuser-Busch is offering free admission to their parks for military members and their families, and I think it is awesome... so I am sharing with my military readers. They are giving park admission to Active Duty and family until the end of 2006. You can find out more at Hero Salute.

My Crazy Shrink

Medical Care in the military- usually pretty good.... Psychiatric care? Blows Goats.

I had to go for my medication management. Always fun... almost as much fun as a root canal. My usual provider has PCS'ed to another base and I got stuck seeing Dr. C. After this appointment, I have decided I hate Dr. C. He is in every way the typical shrink. He is the kind of psychiatrist that made me hate the lot of them in the first place.

No sense of humor. NONE. How can you devote your life to dealing with whackos and nut-jobs and not have a sense of humor?

The dude looks like he if afraid to crack a smile because it would break his face. He is cold and distant and condescending. Ever try to keep a mood up by smiling and making jokes with someone who reminds you of a serial killer?

Ever sit in a chair and be grilled by a total stranger about alcohol use? Not just if and when you drink... but what you drink when you do.... Then he got this look on his face like he was surprised that I only party maybe once a month. He sat there and asked me the same question four different times, in different ways, about if I hear voices in my head telling me to do things. I was torn wether to start fucking with the guy and saying- well only sometimes when I see those purple people in the woods... See previous reference, ie- no sense of humor- so upon the last query I simply said- "No, I am not schizophrenic."

He did tell me I am not like "normal bi-polar people". Ex-fuckin-cuse me? Normal bi-polar? He also thinks I am a narcissist, a perfectionist, and I have a tendency towards OCD. Fuck you, buster. You figured this out from a conversation with a total stranger after 35 minutes, when the subject has obvious discomfort and disdain for your entire demeanor?

Narcissist-nar·cis·sism Pronunciation Key (närs-szm) also nar·cism (-szm)
n.
Excessive love or admiration of oneself.
A psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem.
Erotic pleasure derived from contemplation or admiration of one's own body or self, especially as a fixation on or a regression to an infantile stage of development.

Okay buddy- I don't wear make up, I barely have time to brush my hair most days. Somehow I think you missed the mark, jackass. I also love being me... Being me is fun.
Perfectionist I am not. Just walk into my house full of kid clutter and procrastinated laundry.
OCD. OCD?! They gave you a medical degree? You are calling one of the most scattered and disorganized people I know an obsessive compulsive. I can't stay on one task... EVER, much less repeat it constantly.

You can chalk up this diagnosis as a pure screw up, Doc. What gets me most- I didn't go there for an evaluation. I went for Medication Management. I am now trying to get scheduled with someone else for my next appointment. If they wanna be dicks about it, I can just call tricare and get transferred. I may have to be re-assessed, but I won't have to deal with that dickhead again.

New Year Insanity

It's the new year. Time to reflect on last year- all those resolutions we made and forgot about by February first. A period in which we contemplate being another year older, and that much closer to our old age... more grey hairs, more wrinkles, and maybe a little smarter and wiser than this time last year, if we're lucky. We also spend time looking forward to the new year... I am looking at 32. Shit. It is staring back at me grinning like a Cheshire Cat. I have no resolutions, as I think they can inhibit my ability to live each day- and only make for me feeling guilty next new year's day about things I may not have accomplished.
So I vow to live each day to the fullest I can... and try to keep my sense of humor about this life of mine.

On that note- a little funny to start the new year- All about crazy people.

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a room with or without a view?"

HAPPY NEW YEAR!