My Crazy Shrink

Medical Care in the military- usually pretty good.... Psychiatric care? Blows Goats.

I had to go for my medication management. Always fun... almost as much fun as a root canal. My usual provider has PCS'ed to another base and I got stuck seeing Dr. C. After this appointment, I have decided I hate Dr. C. He is in every way the typical shrink. He is the kind of psychiatrist that made me hate the lot of them in the first place.

No sense of humor. NONE. How can you devote your life to dealing with whackos and nut-jobs and not have a sense of humor?

The dude looks like he if afraid to crack a smile because it would break his face. He is cold and distant and condescending. Ever try to keep a mood up by smiling and making jokes with someone who reminds you of a serial killer?

Ever sit in a chair and be grilled by a total stranger about alcohol use? Not just if and when you drink... but what you drink when you do.... Then he got this look on his face like he was surprised that I only party maybe once a month. He sat there and asked me the same question four different times, in different ways, about if I hear voices in my head telling me to do things. I was torn wether to start fucking with the guy and saying- well only sometimes when I see those purple people in the woods... See previous reference, ie- no sense of humor- so upon the last query I simply said- "No, I am not schizophrenic."

He did tell me I am not like "normal bi-polar people". Ex-fuckin-cuse me? Normal bi-polar? He also thinks I am a narcissist, a perfectionist, and I have a tendency towards OCD. Fuck you, buster. You figured this out from a conversation with a total stranger after 35 minutes, when the subject has obvious discomfort and disdain for your entire demeanor?

Narcissist-nar·cis·sism Pronunciation Key (närs-szm) also nar·cism (-szm)
n.
Excessive love or admiration of oneself.
A psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem.
Erotic pleasure derived from contemplation or admiration of one's own body or self, especially as a fixation on or a regression to an infantile stage of development.

Okay buddy- I don't wear make up, I barely have time to brush my hair most days. Somehow I think you missed the mark, jackass. I also love being me... Being me is fun.
Perfectionist I am not. Just walk into my house full of kid clutter and procrastinated laundry.
OCD. OCD?! They gave you a medical degree? You are calling one of the most scattered and disorganized people I know an obsessive compulsive. I can't stay on one task... EVER, much less repeat it constantly.

You can chalk up this diagnosis as a pure screw up, Doc. What gets me most- I didn't go there for an evaluation. I went for Medication Management. I am now trying to get scheduled with someone else for my next appointment. If they wanna be dicks about it, I can just call tricare and get transferred. I may have to be re-assessed, but I won't have to deal with that dickhead again.