Racism

Damon Wayans is officially a stupid bastard and an ignorant asshole.
As if there weren't enough problems in our country with the division between the races, and diversity... he is pulling THIS SHIT
I say shoot him.

Blind-ish

On Tuesday Kevin had PRK done on his eyes... It has yet to be seen if it is the miracle surgery that it is touted to be. Thus far, he has been fuzzy ad crusty at best. Having now gotten through the worst of the pain, he is now dealing with new found vision problems, which are most disturbing for him, as he is no longer able to correct for these inadequacies with glasses. He can't see as well today as he did yesterday. Perhaps he will see better tomorrow.

It seems to me like it would be a thing most scary, to feel visually crippled, with no remedy... so I am trying to do as much for him as he needs... With him having to put a myriad of different drops in his eyes every 6 hours, I am trying to keep pace with this truly fucked schedule, and pick up the slack of him being out of it, and add on the work of seeing to his needs. I think the spouse ought to be in on the briefing for this procedure- as it is not so easy as the pamphlet makes it sound... Not yet anyways.

Dell Sucks, Final Chapter

The things I learned during my harrowing experience of dealing with Dell.

1. There is a reason outsourced labor is cheaper- The foreign employees are unable to function off anything but a script.... Even so called "Managers"
2. The six scariest words to a Dell employee in New Delhi are "I am going to call corporate." Makes them get all insistent and shit that I will get nowhere with corporate, and that they themselves are the "Final Point of Escalation" When you call bullshit on them for saying it- they get damn near belligerent.
3. Michael Dell has a small army of staff that reads the email directed to him- which is a far better expectation than I previously had... I was expecting it to be a spam box.
4. People who work for Dell in the USA, who live in the USA give customer support and service the way that Americans are used to. I was contacted within 24 hours of my email and given a direct phone number of someone to call... a number that the very patronizing Neeraj said did not exist.... and The woman I spoke with was more than happy to help me come to an amicable solution to my issues with her company, including the exorbitant phone charges racked up trying to fix the multitude of problems with said monitors.

In closing- if you have issues with Dell, Inc... hang up the phone, and get off that online chat window. Send a precise and intelligently worded email to the head of the company. That was easier, wasn't it?

Dell SUCKS, Chapter 2

I still have no new monitors, and no one at Dell seems capable of giving me a straight answer one way or the other. After all the headache from trying to get the damned things ordered- they shipped the wrong items... Ever since we have been trying to get the ones we ordered, and PAID for. As, of course, Dell already got their fucking money.
I have found oodles of complaints with both the BBB and consumer affairs about their business practices, and problems with the out sourcing. Honestly, I don't think most of their employees could find their ass with both hands and a map. So, in order to vent my frustration, I am posting for you the highlights of the chat logs with these assholes... and if you are in the market to buy a computer- may I suggest ANYONE but Dell.

On Feb 10th I was told.... "Please do not worry. I see in my records that your replacement order for monitor is in the process and would be shipped out within 2-3 business days at the max."

On Feb 14th I was told... "Kevin, the replacement order is yet to be generated. Please allow 2-3 business days and then check the replacement order status under My account history"

On Feb 15th I was told... ""You would be knowing that the monitor order is in process. I also see in your mails that it was promised to you that you would receive the order by the 14th Feb but you haven't received the monitor order... I do not want to assure on something which I am not sure of as I need to contact the dispatch & only then I can give you any details. "On an Average, it takes about 24- 36 hours"

They talk in pretty circles, and are masters at the art of placation and ass kissing... It's like a whole room full of Ross Perot- they never really answer the question. ... but you don't realize it until 5 minutes after they have left the conversation. Serious bullshit artists.
Up Yours, Michael Dell. I hope you get the clap.

Stank Frau

There is one profound thing that I have experienced here in Germany that I never thought I would.
On two different and distinct occasions I have been practically knocked out by the body odor of another human being.

When we first moved into our home here, the moving company sent 3 people- two men and one woman. Can I just say, GOD DAMN, what a stench. I can understand men who move for a living might not be the cleanest bunch- sweaty and stained- but to smell like that and go into another person's home, touch their things... EW. The Woman is what caught me the most off guard. She was probably in her fifties- a heavy set woman with skin like wet leather. She wore a stained tank top- that's right... it was sleeveless. As if the look of her pit hair as she hefted boxes out of the truck wasn't enough, she wore no bra with this t-shirt weight garment. Her very generous and pendulous titties were sagging somewhere close to her navel. Fucking EW! Sad thing was, she smelled as bad, if not worse, than the men.
The smell of these people proliferated my entire home- for DAYS. We are not talking that weird chicken soup smell you get from your deodorant wearing off at the end of a long day- we are talking full blown, make your stomach churn, foul funk- and it was before breakfast.
Today I made a long overdue call to housing maintenance regarding the lady who cleans our stairwell twice a week. Today she was at the top floor when I came in- so the first floor landing smelled fresh- like pine-sol. The closer I got to the top floors- that funky smell crept in, in started slapping me in the face. Ever tried to climb 4 flights of stairs while holding your breath? It sucks.
That stairwell will have clean floors, yet smell like she hosed it with pit juice for the next 4 hours. So I have made the call I have been meaning to make for months. I can understand that I am in another country, and maybe their ways are different than mine- but for fuck's sake- you work in my building- the doorway to my home. Go get a pit stick, you nasty stank she-beast.

It shouldn't exist

Having grown up between the valley of Phoenix and the arid desert of Las Vegas, I have never seen a real blizzard- except on Bugs Bunny cartoons. We are not having one right now, either, but it is snowing a lot, and there is wind blowing it in every direction at the same time... and now this all new freak out called "Thunder Snow".

I was sitting here in a quiet house watching the snow fall, and cussing the weather, while trying to decide if I want to sweep the floors or do the dishes first. Then the rumble of thunder outside. Fucking Thunder. During a snow storm, no less.

So now, the two elements of weather that scare the shit out of me most to be out driving in are irrationally co-exsisting, when I have to leave in less than an hour to go get the kids from school. Yes, that's right, I turn into a giant chicken shit during thunder storms... Like Powder thinking the lightening was reaching for him...
And being the desert rat I am, I have no background in driving in this snow shit, other than saying, "Honey, you drive."

Thanks the the USAF, I get to experience this miracle of poltergeist weather.

Favorites

We have long enjoyed our time in the spotlight... Reveling in the glory that is the New England Patriots. Our time is over, at least for this year.
I was just asked while at the commi-scary who I wanted to win the superbowl, and I honestly said, "I don't care. I just want it to be a good game."
I seriously hate blow out games, they take all the fun out of it- (then again, watching the game on AFN takes the fun out of it too, as we don't get to see the commercials.) We are going to be at our friends house for the game- and he is a serious Seattle fan... a BIG one. I have seen him scream at the computer screen watching the little helmets move on NFL.com when they weren't showing his games.
He is very devoted, (or maniacal if you wanna be a dick about it), so watching the game with him should be entertaining, even if the game itself sucks.

Best of luck to both teams, and the fans - I hope your team wins... which ever team you are pulling for... Since my team isn't playing, (for a change) I can root for both.

Silly Men

I am convinced that men have half a brian- I have held this belief for sometime- and they won't outgrow it until they stop trying to let their crotch do half of their thinking for them. This happens at around 40 years of age, so I am told.
I just got propositioned on iChat by "Sven from Kusel". Even thought I told Sven from Kusel, I was more than happy to chat with him- I told him it would not be "Going Anywhere". His response was "Of course". Things were fine... talking about the sites here in Germany, and the fact that we were married with kids. In fact it was normal for about 10 minutes- until he wanted to talk about cultural differences between Germany and America.
Then he did it. He asked me if it was true that most American men were circumcised. Okay- a little weird, but I said, as far as I know. At least, the men I have met are. Then he proceeds to tell me he "likes his extra meat". OMFG! I almost threw up a little. After informing him that it is not, in fact, meat- it is useless skin- I decided to do two things- change the subject and fuck with this guy's head. I had another 40 minutes until the dryer was done anyways.
Sven confided in me that he had cheated on his wife before. Ah! Just the opening I was looking for. I asked him why, and did she know, and a barrage of other guilt-inducing and thought inciting questions. I have to give the dude credit. He tried very hard to keep up. The end of the chat went somewhat like this... "I can't imagine only sleeping with one woman for the rest of my life."
"Then why did you get married?"
"I like being married. I am never lonely."
"If you are never lonely, then why did you screw around on your wife?"
... He said nothing.
"I mean, if you want to sleep with lots of women, why get married in the first place?"
Wishing him luck on finding someone to destroy his marriage with, I blocked his screen name and went on my merry way to the shower.
Sven- you should ask more leading questions next time to make sure the woman you are after isn't WAY smarter than you.
In case Sven's wife- "wife from Kusel" speaks english and happens upon my site- your husband cheated on you before- and is sniffing around to do it again. He is running around the internet with a hard dick, searching for someone locally he can bone down because he is bored with your marriage. You should take your 3 year old son and get out while you can.

Letter to Dell... aka Dell SUCKS!

True Story, and Actually Sent to them...I do not expect a response- but if I get one, I will post it here.

To Whom It May Concern,

Although I can appreciate your company's efforts to screen out the true concerns vs the fix-it-yourself type of problems- I would suggest you work on your filters- as the only thing I said about "international" in my email was the fee I was paying my phone company to get jacked around by your MANY departments.
I called to buy 2 monitors. The same monitors I could have purchased from your website, but I wanted to find out about shipping options, as our friend ordered a laptop from Dell in Sept of last year and waited 98 days for it to arrive.
After 40 minutes on hold and two transfers, a sales rep told me that we could call "this" (800-727-1100) and put in this extension ( x7266402) and they would hook us up with APO shipping (keep in mind I at this point in the evening had told your people were were in Germany 5 times). Hesitant as I was to hang up and end up back on hold, I did so. Only to be told by your phone system that if we call from outside the US, we can not enter an extension number. So back to the beginning of the queue I went. After another eternally long time on hold to talk to the sales department, I was transfered to the dept. that handles military, student and employee programs... More Holding... Only to be told by the rep that answered the call that he had to transfer us to another department. I was then transferred to Corporate Customer Support, who upon being told that I was trying to buy monitors transferred me to Corporate Sales. Corporate Sales, of course sent me back down to the Sales Dept. At which time I started taking names. I spoke with what sounded like an Asian Woman named "Ann". I told Ann I wanted a Manager. After more holding, she said her Supervisor was in a meeting with the managers.
Ann Transferred me to Rod, back in the military/student/employee sales Department. Rod transferred me, *while I was in mid question* to a man who identified himself as being in the Government sales dept. as they handle the APO shipping. This man sent me to the "Specialized Government Sales Team" (His words, not mine), where I spoke with Scott. I told Scott what I wanted.
I was them told a number of MORE troubling things.

He claims Dell has 2 laptop computer models and 2 desktop computer models that can ship APO. Not monitors, and though I pressed him for the reason as to why, he had none. No Explanation. Perhaps youdo not train your employees to never say "I don't know" to a customer. Tends to anger them.
He pressured me to have it shipped to someone in the states, which for times saving sake, I agreed to (I had already been on the phone with Dell for over an hour and a half). He also told me the monitor I was looking at on your site for 549.00 was 599.00 and wondered where I was getting the figure of 411.00. While I am always willing to help, I really thought that YOUR reps should know what is on YOUR site... But I explained it to him anyways.
Scott then informed me that those monitors were on back-order. (?!)
Scott then told me it would be over $60.00 in tax as we were having it shipped to California and had to pay their tax... When I never wanted it shipped there in the first place. So now I am facing backorder, 62.00 in taxes and paying shipping again to have it sent to me here.
Odd thing that, as after my husband, listening to this phone call, became completely flustered, and I told Scott to never mind, I put the order in online. I think your story about "Contracts about exporting" is a bunch of crap- as I know for a FACT that you have sent a shipment of monitors here- to this area of germany- to an APO address for a USAF purchase. I honestly believe it is a post office issue... or a matter of us not spending as much as the feds, it is hardly worth your trouble... but since that sound rather lame, you make up fancy words and jargon to impress the masses. Doesn't work on me.
Most of the time I was on the phone, I was shuffled and holding, only to be shuffled and passed off to someone else. Toward the end I think people were making stuff up. (Specialized Government Sales Dept?!) For a customer that wants to buy a monitor for his home? What's with the many transfers to Corporate sales, tech support... and Corporate SERVICE dept for a monitor I apparently can't buy?!
I am incredibly displeased with Dell's idea of customer service and phone support. I would like to know what you are going to do to fix these OBVIOUS and NUMEROUS flaws in your customer service. There is absolutely no excuse for this.

I have now just received an email from your sales team telling me that my order has been cancelled. Good. I can't imagine why I would want to give my money to a company that has an obvious apathy for the troops serving our country. dell.com/oconus is a joke, it is a half hearted attempt to provide second rate itens to customers who have an obvious lack of options due to their environemnt, and your company makes it obviously clear that you have no interest or care. There is no way in hell I am using your "Straight to Queue" number... lest I spend another hour and a half getting crapped on by your ignorant representatives.
I will be sure to make a few phone calls ad write a few letters to the USAF- Knowing one other person here, in a very small community, who had trouble with your corporation, I imagine there are quite a few... Make enough noise and someone will take notice- maybe the people who re-write those nice government contracts and checks. I will also be posting about this incident on both of my websites.
Don't bother sending me a letter of placation and apology. It is wasted on me, unless it is signed by someone who makes real decisions.

Going Postal, Part 2

Until this past week, teens and younger kids had no idea what the term "Going Postal" was about.... Some goofy catch phrase from their parents square heads and irrelevant pasts.
Now they know. We have a whole new generation of Americans who have seen this story, and in no time, the term "Going Postal" will be hip again.
What is interesting about this story? It was a woman, that in and of itself is a new twist. She was clearly disturbed- perhaps psychotic and/or schizophrenic. She had been in custody before for freaking out in a postal plant... and they let her go on her merry way... Oh- and she left a previous post office job with mental problems... More than likely talking back to the voices in her head.

So, when you are losing it today in your daily grind- make sure to use the phrase "Going Postal"... It may have been coined years and years ago- but this woman really went out of her way to take it to a whole new level. Let's make this term trendy again.