Silent Bob

I may be an out if it idiot, and I can admit that... but did you know Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) has a blog?! Why didn't you TELL me?! Holy shit! This may be one of the best things I have found on the net in months! So head on over to Silent Bob Speaks! I may spend all my coffee time this morning reading.

HOLY SHIT!!!

Got this in the mail today... With the little side story that reads about some guy in his fishing boat going 75 mph and going ass first into the shore. Yes he did live, and make a full recovery.
Poor bastard.

Temper Tantrum

I am getting a slight idea of how my husband felt when J. Damon went to the New York Yankees.
I have some very strong opinions about some things in the NFL. One of them being Brett Farve needs to retire. The other is my undying hatred of the Indianapolis Colts and their big bitch asshat of a quarterback. I really hate Indy... (even more than I hate Denver, so that's alot of hate. )
What is the best way to make me want to burn my Pats gear in effigy? Send one of my favorite players to go play with the big bitch asshat team. So- up yours Viniteri. You can rest assured I will be giving the finger to my TV every time you kick, and rolling some voodoo chicken bones to help you miss.

Linkie, Linkie

So... It is unlike me to use a link as a whole post, but I so enjoyed laughing at myself over this, I had to share. The object? The pick out the serial killers from the computer programmers.
Serial Killer or Programmer
ENJOY!

Ramping Up

All the wedding wear is purchased and has been sent to my mom's house in AZ. Including this darling little number for Rachel to b the flower girl. Yes, my kid is cute, so I can show her off.
We are getting all set up for our trip. Left to do yet is get the kids homework for the month we are gone... which could be a challenge as "GI Jerk" is in Rachel's class this week, and I would rather punch that guy square in the face than talk to him.
Of course I have to make sure I plan clothes carefully, as we are going to be in hot-ass AZ, temperate CA and cool New England during our trip. OCD is setting in for me about having all the paperwork together, making sure I have a complete list of shit to pack, and shit to buy before we go... Wanting to make sure the young airman who is staying here is taken care of I am now obsessing about a list of shit to have in the house for him so he doesn't need a thing....Oh, and the list I need to make for him of the way shit works in the house, and numbers he can call, and backup plans he might need.
Wow, vacation planning with a bi-polar is fun...

I digress...

Back to obsessing.

Raggin.

In other news my previously fucked up cycle is even more fucked up now, and I am on my bitch week every 14-15 days. I am sure it is not something men want to read about, but imagine if you will, my poor husband having to put up with a pissed off cramping woman twice a month, and try to have empathy for him.
I did the off base doctor thing, and now I am chasing down a doc on base to have the problem permanently fixed... that is... have me fixed- people-spay style. If they tell me one more time I am too young, I may have to start blogging from prison, as I am sure I will stick a speculum through a GYN's forehead, ala Leatherface.

11:48 PM

What a wracked time to blog an entry. I am way too tired for this shit tonight. So I think I may just have to skip it.
In the mean time...Play This fun math game I will try to get my proverbial shit together soon for a new post.

Sunshine

It just occurred to me how sick it is...that I have been in this country for so long that 36 degrees outside and the sun being out is a sign of spring. Me the desert-rat... the one who looks at 110 degree summers and laughs....
Today it's 36 degrees! Wee! It's a frickon heat wave!

I GOTTA get out of here.

Net down and green beer

Okay, as for the delay in posting, TKS, my internet cable modem people decided yesterday to arbitrarily shut off my internet. No reason... I guess they just felt like it. So again, TKS Sucks.
So I will postpone my discussing every cat's inane need to watch people piss, and their instinct to decide they want love whilst people are shitting.
Instead- I am still ass deep in making plans for the upcoming trip. Before then, we have Kevin's birthday to plan and consider. One of those lucky St. Pat's born guys, he hates green cake with green icing... and thus far in our ten years of marriage, I have respected it. However, this year his Irish ass, with his irish birthday being on a Friday deem it necessary I make big with the green beer and green frosting on the cake. It is a celestial alignment with this day falling on a Friday this year- as they are opening a new Irish Pub up the hill from us- this will mean much libation, and much paying for it Saturday morning, no doubt
.
So, luck of the irish to you, I have to go order a cake looking like it was grown in the Amazon instead of being baked.

Working on it

With the trip planning, doc's appointments, and trying to organize, I haven't had a lot of time to post... So as a little place holder for your comments- my next post will be about cats and their compulsive need to be in the bathroom while you are sitting on the toilet. Comment and I will get back with you in the next 24 with my full blown entry.

Snow...

Last week was Fasching... German's Fat Tuesday, so the kids were off of school.
Wednesday, although bitter cold, was pretty normal. Then the week went in the shitter. This picture was taken on Thursday- day one of the snow- so this is about half of what we got. This tree is outside of our balcony.

Wednesday evening snow started to fall, and it didn't stop... Until yesterday. The day on Thursday was spent chasing the kids in and out of the house to go play in the snow- since they were off school due to the weather. BOTH DAYS. The teachers and staff of the school could not get in to work. Parts of the autobahn were closed down, and the little local roads were unplowed. The kids loved it. I hated it, as I do not drive in the shit, unless someone is going to die... (and even then I would probably call an ambulance.) So, of 7 days, I spent 5 listening to restless bored-ass children run circles in the house, waiting for the snow to let up enough for them to go out and play in it.

Right now, I should be on my way to the Ramstein Pharmacy. I figured I would warm up the car, drive the kids to school, and leave from there. Not. There was not only 5 inches of snow on my car, but under the layer of white was a veritable sheet of ice. Now, I am not tall enough to reach the top of my car to brush off snow, much less the scrape ice that has tried to permanently bond itself to the paint job. My meds can wait until tomorrow, when I can get my tall husband to get the "Titanic Killer" off of my car.

Standing there, like the grinch, with my feet ice cold and wet in the snow, I got off what I could, and did a pretty good job- except for the glacier on the roof. The futile attempt to remove the ice had us running late, so I drove the kids to the school, only to almost get stuck in the plow provided drifts in the parking lot. Upon walking Rachel up to her classroom, I slipped and twisted my ankle on a patch of ice... My bad ankle- rolled the ever living shit out of it. It could have been worse, as another parent carrying a baby seat in one hand proceeded to go all the way down on said ice patch, ala Tom and Jerry style. Ever seen a woman with young child in tow try really hard not to cuss like a sailor when injured? I saved my cussing until I limped back to the car.

We have 27 days until we fly out of this snow-pit, and in 30 days until we get to the bone dry, sauna hot desert of Southern Arizona. No ice on the car, no snow on the ground, no frost on the windows... Just fabulous cloudless heat under a merciless sun. Never in my life did I think I would so look forward to dried nose crusties, and the accompanying reptilian-like skin drying.

Demon Deer

I got these pictures in my email from a friend. I am sure she sent them with the intention of the recipients getting a warm fuzzy. She wanted to get that "Awwwwwww! How cute!" reflex.
Now, maybe I am a callous bitch...but seriously, this is some of the scariest shit I have seen this week. It looks like a rat born from he sewers of Chernobyl.... With it's horrible glowing pink eyes, Bambi it is not. Call the exorcist... It's the Demon Deer.

The Institution of Marriage?

I found this link to something truly fucked on my new favorite forums, and had to vent.
Never before in my life have I seen something that looked so much like a hoax in my life- and had there not been a real life court case surrounding it I would have never believed it. Knowing that, it is one of those train-wreck kind of web pages, where it is hideous, but you just CAN'T look away. It is unequaled, except maybe by the "Tom Cruise Religion" test pages.
In short, for those too lazy to actually go to the link and read it- this bastard- who is up on charges for sexual abuse and kidnapping of his wife- (and a side helping of kiddie porn)- wrote up this list of "Wifely expectations" that she was to follow.
One of these rules was "You will shave every third day, which includes underarms, chest, legs, and pubic area (Navel to anus), all areas are to be clean shaven..." (first of all... CHEST?! She has to shave her chest?)... and then he goes on to talk about vaginal slits and such other gender sensitive items. The wife was also to earn good behavior days and be naked in bed every night, except during her rag.... then she was only allowed to cover up down to ass cheeks. Oh!! And she had to turn over every pair of granny panties she owned- and wear only thongs- except during afore mentioned menstrual cycle.
So anyways... It is so bad that I have to comment, but I can't think of anything bad enough to say about it, except that as shit as it is, I am sure there are women whose self esteem is so very low that they would actually agree to something like this, and do so every day- wether it is written on paper or not.
They believe he is the best she can get, and that she deserves no better. This is not in some bassackwards male chauvinist run hell hole desert country. It is in good ole Iowa.
I hope they shoot him... twice. Once in the ball sack, then once in the neck- so he can bleed to death, and give the witnesses the joy of watching the light in his eyes go out like a flame under glass.This bastard is the example what is wrong with people.