Shut it

It looks rough, but it's still working at least.... and the banner is dynamic.
Other than that I am struggling.
I am trying to figure out how to convert a 3.1 MT template to a 3.2, and then change it. This sucks. I think I'd almost rather be doing laundry... almost.
Oh... and by the by... the archives look all a-like ass... so don't go there. And if you are using IE- it looks more like shite than those of us not using a substandard browser... so go download firefox.

Daily Brief

Bolstered in my tit-sling before 9 am... something must be up. Today I brave the torturous Ramshaft for an appointment at the head-shrinking clinic. Good times.
Yesterday I spent 2 hours of my life, hours I will never get back, waiting for the pecker-heads at LRMC to deliver an rx that I was told was ready before I even left the house. Lying sacks of shit that they ae... in the process of me trying to track it down I waited, paced, got hollered at by hungry kids, and mashed my ass while waiting for the doctor to come back from lunch after he forgot to sign the script before he left to go shovel groceries into his goozle. Asshats.

In any case... Just wanted to post an update to let my readers know that in the next few days you may come here and find a broken site- I am getting ready to do the long threatened overhaul of my index and css. Gawd help us! I am no less html-retarded than before, but I am determined to try.

$35.00

That's a lot of money to a six year old girl. Yesterday we traversed to the BX to spend the birthday money and gift cards, which added up to a total of $35.00. Rachel chose to buy some head bands, a set of Maracas, and a Barbie bride doll. She still has enough cash left for the ice cream man, should the bastard ever show up before 9:30 p.m.
The problem with this whole bride doll thing is the lack of Ken dolls or G.I. Joes in the house. Yesterday I happened upon her in her room with a gorgeous wedding set out, complete with music, guests, cake and table wear. The most beautiful lesbian wedding you would ever want to see, as the bride-groom was her veterinarian barbie she got last weekend. The wedding was of course complete with the "You may kiss the bride" part, and the long, long, long, LONG kiss at the end... The blonde strands of hair becoming tangled together in the passion of it.
It was disturbing to say the least. I didn't say anything to her- as she looked up at me (and I skillfully masked the look of worry) at that time and said "I am pretending this one is a boy, Mommy", and she went back to what she was doing. I have no problem with the lesbian wedding thing- just a 6 year old girl doing tongue kisses with 2 long haired big chested women dolls is somewhat of a psyche overload.
The salvation of my shock came with my son barging in, ala-columbine style with his nerf gun, and shooting down the cake and stuffed animal wedding guests... claiming that he had to, as I wouldn't let him shoot nerf-darts at his cat.

Fighting

Ah, summer... that lovely time of year when I get to sleep in until 7:30. Those fabulous months when I am not awoken by the screeching of an alarm, but instead by the banshee-like wailing of my daughter as my son picks a fight with her. The child based snooze alarm is better still, as it is a combo of my charming little boy hollering at the top of his lungs calling her a name, and she reacts with the "sick-cow" wail in unison with his outburst, thusly ensuring that I don't think of choosing the snooze option again.
It has been thus since they got out of school, and may well continue to be so. I am sure one day they will be best friends.. in maybe... 20-25 years. As of now they swing between mild annoyance of each other's existence to bloody-hell rage. Tis but for me to try and get in the middle of it- and reason with two children under the age of 8 and get them to not fight with one another... as I am sure you are aware- reasoning with a child under the age of 8 is difficult in it's own right, but that much harder when trying to talk a six year old girl out of the idea that her brother is a big bully-stupid-head. My son is no more cooperative- as he is convinced he has "The worst sister in the world ever". (His quote, not mine).
As I have said before, I am an only child and the whole sibling dynamic makes no sense to me what-so-ever... But I am assured it is normal. I just hope I come out of parenthood at least half as sane as I went in.... The odds are NOT in my favor.

Day "Off"?

A birthday Party success at the bowling alley.
The gift Rachel wanted is on the way, and it prompted a whole turn around of arrangements.

After the party we spent HOURS splitting the kids rooms from play room/sleep room to each of them having their own. It wouldn't have been such a big deal if it hadn't involved a 150 pound bed frame coming up the stairs, and consequently assembled (using the instructions with misprints and the pieces that didn't quite fit). Of course, when one assembles a bed, one must disassemble and remove to the ground floor what is already there- and that caused great heart (and hand) ache to the husband.
Personally, I spent 4 hours sitting on the floor of the play room sorting each any every little pile of shit and box of crap into his, hers, and trash. No less than 5 bags FULL of various bits of broken and out dated toys came out of that room. It was a much harrowing process... Especially trying not to reach over and smack a child every time I put my hand into God knows what and said gross.

But it is all done, and now I can spend hours sorting thru the fallout of laundry and various bits of odds and ends that spilled forth into other parts of the house. I go today to see Dr. J- my sweet airheaded Ortho Doc to see if I get that letter to get off the fourth floor. If I do, there will be many more hours spent sorting, trashing and organizing the incredible amount of shit 4 people accumulate over the course of 4 years.

Father's Day

In celebration of my dad, and my strong beautiful husband, Happy Father's Day.
Kevin is constantly under attack in our home at the hands of our sadistic children. Wrestling fights, climbing for hugs and tickle fights more often then not culminate in his balls being kicked or stepped on, his head being hit, and his back being jumped on repeatedly, like the poor old stable nag at the hands of an abusive rider.
My own father suffered for years (and still to this day) from the master manipulation at the hands of a child, that only comes with having female offspring. Daddies were made to be wound around the little fingers of daughters... I just think it important that he knows that I am aware of it. :)
I like This Article about fatherhood, and thought I would share.
For all the abuse Dad's suffer in silence throughout the year- Happy Father's Day, and thank you.

Good book- alot of work

IN case you had been wondering about my lack of post syndrome, I am immersed in reading "Holy Blood, Holy Grail". It is a great work of non-fiction that is taking me a considerable amount of time to get through, as it has pages of footnotes, and references to shit I have no knowledge of, which has to be subsequently Googled/wikipedia'ed to alleviate my ignorance on the matter.
Suffice it to say, were I ever Jack-Catholic before, I am ever more so now, and I am only 2/3 of the way through this novel. I always had to sneaking feeling that some things were doctored, left out or all together obliterated from the Church, but the damage suffered at Rome's hands was much greater than I ever put together in high school history class. I will update on my progress- this may be the end of a long crisis of faith I suffered over 10 yeas ago, and has, until now, been unresolved.

Not Right

In so much as I rejoice with the rest of the military and nation about the death of an evil, evil man... and I worry about the inevitable backlash of said death...
I think that the media and Government are assuring an even worse retribution by splattering the screens of the world with the death-masked corpse of the famed terrorist. It is reminiscent of days in centuries past, when the fallen enemies' head was severed from their body and put on sharpened pig-poles in the town square.
I am all for gore. I am called "The Morbid Bitch" by my loved ones- but for fuck's sake people... If you are trying to cut down on what is sure to be the angered response of revenge from the bad guy's- don't put the new Martyr's face all over the TV.

Here we are again

It is June 6th.. the birthday of one of my dear friends who is still lost to me, as if plucked off the face of the planet. Because I am so tech savvy and reliant on the internet for everything from phone numbers to weather reports and recipes.... I just don't get how someone can stay so under the world wide radar. So, my dear Brat Prince Friend... Matthew Heling, happy birthday. For any of my readers who happen to live in Vegas- drop me a line, and I will send you out to stalk him and give him a message for me. ;)

Three days from now I hope to have relief from this constant struggle of womanhood problems. On Friday I go back to the GYN for a plastic european IUD laced with faux progesterone. She is hoping to stops my 16 day crises all together. If it doesn't- it is onward and upward to more permanent and invasive measures. It is days like this that is sounds like a grand plan to have a 500 degree probe stuck in my uterus to cauterize all it's reproductive purposes. This month cycle, I made it a whole 20 days... of course my cramping preceded the event by 3 days- I guess my body wanted to make damn sure I was mentally good and ready for the pain. Fuck.

New Meds

Perfect timing and most appropriate joke.
As I got this today, I thought I might share the fact that I am being taken off the first meds Ihave ever found that work for my "mood disorder"... I am currently looking up the different shit on the market available.... Nothing so mundane as Prozac for this crazy bitch... oh, no. It must be far more complicated than that, right? What fun would it be to be me, if it was easy?

Recipe from my past

A taste of home and childhood... of course I have improved on it. It is called Cretons... A really tasty breakfast spread for toast. Great tasting- looks like cat food. Out of morbid curiosity, I have looked around in the google-verse and found several recipes that are nothing like the one I use. Mine having the distinction of being passed down from mother to daughter, and really no exact measurements, and being the narcissist I am- mine is better than yours. Some of the recipes call for bread crumbs and way too much milk.... Mine comes from the back woods of a real French Canadian Woman.... My Great Grandmother, and it is fairly simple compared to all that extra stuff'n'do.
So-
Chrissy's SUPER EASY and FABULOUS Cretons
1 lb ground pork
3-4 bay leaves
Pepper
A little bit of milk
1 Med Onion quartered
Water
Little bit of crushed Garlic
Salt

Break pork up in a med sauce pan, add bay leaves, onion, garlic, pepper, and add enough water to cover the meat with about 1/2 inch water. Simmer over medium-ish heat for about an hour and a half- adding water as needed to keep the pork just covered. Simmer for another half hour after last water add, until most of the water is evaporated off.
Pull out the bay leaves, and add salt to taste at this point.
Transfer contents of the pan to a food processor or blender, and turn it on. Add a little milk as it you go- you don't want the Cretons runny- just smooth- like a puree... When it is smooth (About 5 minutes of blending, stirring down and blending again) put into a storage container and refrigerate. It will firm up a bit.
You'll know if you did it right when it is chilled- when you take it out, it should be firm (not too wet), but not break apart (too dry)...
...and look like old fashioned cat food.
Serve on toast. Tasty.

This concludes the only recipe I will ever post. I have a reputation to protect.