Where do they come from?

So, my kids are now at that age where they are starting to ask questions. I don't remember asking questions about babies origins until I was much older than they are, but given that the school has started my kindergartner on the D.A.R.E. program, I am not terribly surprised.

It was gladly that I realized my daughter has finally developed a sense of modesty- that is to say she doesn't run into the living room butt assed naked after her bath when we have company anymore. On tap I have a DVD of "The Miracle of Life" for when they start asking technical questions, and my son took great interest in watching a National Geographic special that showed lots of fun pics in-utero, luckily for me, I got to that channel by surfing, and when the bundle was about 10 weeks along- so no weird questions there.

My upcoming ta-ta uterus surgery is beginning to raise some questions with the kids that have me making that "White man dancing" over-bite face. I am not embarrassed by sex, nor talking about it to my kids. I just don't know where to draw the line... How does one explain it so that a 6 to 8 year old will understand? Trying to be the forward thinking mom that I am, I want it to be an open and easily approachable subject- but I do tend to state things very matter-of-fact in a lot of situations, and I just don't know if my kids can get their heads around that; I certainly never want them to feel embarrassed or ashamed of their sexuality... but "tab a, slot b" may not get the questions answered.

My prayers answered! A sex book for kids! Now I can not only get something to help me, but sit back and watch the proverbial shit hit the fan as the moral majority too much time on their hands fit thorwing mothers have a field day about this book. This is the kind of entertainment you can't PAY for. The book is supposedly well written with plenty of illustrations- I can't wait to see the horrified mothers of the right wing shit in a sock over an illustrated penis, or a man and a woman in bed (see above, this is from the book).... even tastefully done.

America's attitude about sex sucks... and I think it makes for more unsafe and promiscuous behavior as adolescents come of age. Being in Europe, and exposed to the "rest of the world" attitude has been quite an education. American media is just a step away from the back door of religious zealotry when it comes to sex... in ads and on TV. I guess they prefer to mask it under innuendo and not so unobvious phallic symbology. Let's throw a fit about a woman's titty nipple popping out at a halftime concert- because that is offensive. But THIS is okay? I have seen less obvious money shots in Ron Jeremy films.

So, I am heading over to Amazon to get my copy of this book. With the shit storm that I am sure that is going to ensue over this publication- it might become a collectors item.

IE Strikes again

Bill Gates is the anti-christ. I bet you didn't know that. Before this blog, I used to own Gatesisthedveil.com, but I let the domain lapse in favor of having my blog and my own place to piss and moan.

I was looking at browser shots yesterday to put any finishing touches on my refitted blog- only to find out that IE 6.0 totally fucks up my site. No other browser does it, not Opera, Safari, Firefox, etc. Even IE 5.1 doesn't do it.

So- if you are using evil software from the bowels of Microsucks- aka hell- the calendar over there is all a-dicked, and the pictures in the posts seem to like to jump into the wrong posts and so forth.
I am beating my head bloody against my desk to figure out why and how to make Microsucks play nice with the Nuthouse.... but if in my finite, practically nonexistent knowledge of html coding I can't, screw it. I don't care. Bill Gates and his shitty browser can suck it. Even if I got it to look right now, the impending release of his new OS will no doubt make a myriad of new problems in the spring.

Attention Blog Explosion People...

While I love the fact that you are here, (and, yes, probably not reading my shit) I have been noticing that I have not yet been rated on BE yet... so if a few of you would take the time to do so, I would be much obliged.
Also if anyone knows how I can get those asshats over there at BE to answer my emails or update my thumbnail- pass on some info to me, mmmk?

Poker Face

It started simple. A few guys, beers, some cards... Now, it is 16 people (5 of them kids) and dinner. Dinner that I am cooking. Shit.
One of them has this legendary reputation for eating... that he could up-end my refrigerator into his face then come back for the pantry. So now it is a couple of single guys- a few married guys- their wives, and all the kids. One who eats 5 times as much as anyone else- and single guys... hmmm... Single. That means their idea of "Bring something to share" is a bag of ruffles and a can of frito-lay dip. Shit. Shit.
I just went to the commiscary and spent over $100.00 on food for this gig, and tomorrow I get to hit the class six (that's military for liquor store) for the beer and ice and what not. Bottles and bags I have no room for in my cabinets. The damned doors will no doubt be spring loaded traps waiting to go off at the fist person who touches the handle, covering them with dry noodles and potato chips. Better clean out the pantry, too. Shit. Shit. Shit.
It's a fuck-load of people. I have opted to take this thing potluck. It takes some of the burden off, assuming anyone besides my buddy Heidi brings stuff. I have put together a list of snacky but filling goodies, and if that's not enough, screw em, they can order Pizza Attack. This whole card game got out of control really quick. I am just that damn cool that EVERYONE wants to party with Freud. You heard it here first... I rock.
So tomorrow I make fruit salad, and spinach dip, and make my house smell like a dirty old man's balls by making deviled eggs. Just so there is less preparing and panicking for me to do on Saturday. Saturday is the day to do all the other stuff'n'do I forgot. There is always that last minute "Oh, Shit!" list....

I better win some money at this poker game. The things I put myself through for a "good time".

Go Away!

I have spent hours going blind on my code. I am trying to figure out why this stupid MT 3.2 is underlining my links. I CAN'T FIND THE CODE.
I have looked through all my templates and my CSS.
So bear with me until I figure out this dumpy POS template. I liked 3.1 better. It was easier to control. This GD thing seems to have a mind of it's own. Its a demonoid template that is hell bent on driving me into a nice white padded room.

Bad timing

Dear Housing Management:
When the residents of housing, along with everyone else in Europe, is doing every conceivable thing to stay cool, you may want to reschedule things like POWER OUTAGES if there is a killer (that's a literal killer) heat wave outside. So as to not deprive the people who live here of the only thing they have to stay cool in your stupid non-A/C allowed houses- i.e. electric fans, water coolers and being able to get ice out of the freezer without fear of the whole lot of shit going bad. So please- if you are going to cut my only sanctuary- wait until the temperatures get out of the ninth ring of hell range, please. Might make you seem a little less like heartless demon guttersnipes from the bowels inside the earth.

And no, I don't give a shit that it was only 2 hours. Do you know how hot it got in here in 2 hours? It was 86 inside of the first 45 minutes. You should have waited until the heat wave broke. It's not like it was contracted work. It was the same dude who came up here to fix my ceiling fan last month, and patched that hole in the wall in January.

Asshats.

For those who don't live here in German Base Housing- no we have no A/C- you knew that, as I have told you- but the Government also disallows the military members to go spend their own money to get one and put one in- even a little one for the bedroom or something. "We the people" are to stupid to follow a possible set of guidelines they might distribute saying if you get an A/C it has to be under "this much" for power needs, lest it blow your breakers. The BX sells A/C units for Christ's sake; with a big sign saying people who live on base can't have it. What the shit is that? Nones for you- suffer, bitches. Of course these assholes who make the rules no doubt work in air conditioned offices.
Never mind that a heat wave 3 years ago wiped out almost 15,000 Europeans.... and this heat wave thus far has been worse- so I am sure the numbers are going to climb. It is told us that the rule has something to do with average temperatures and such- so long as global warming keeps up it's steadfast pace, shouldn't be long until they are authorized- however- it takes the government decades to do anything- so by the time us poor bastards are allowed to get an A/C- we'll be in the next ice age.

To Quote

My grandfather was an awesome guy, truly. One of the funniest men I even knew.... and he would have had to perfect thing to say about the weather cooking Europe right now.

"It's hotter than a half-fucked fox in a forest fire."

In the mean time I am trying to find an appropriate 10th anniversary gift for my husband. What does one buy the uber-techno geek? Gift shopping for this man is impossible. Every year, with one or more gifts, I end up in the customer service line returning whatever I bought him, as it was the wrong one, won't work with our shit, or paid too much for it. I married the guy for whom the gift certificate truly is the perfect gift.
If only there were someway to have a plug retrofitted to my ass that would make all sorts of little LED lights come on in my forehead and blink in time to music or something... Or get my nether regions hooked up to diodes and sensors that sounds an alarm with lights and beeps letting him know when I am in the mood...
THAT would be the perfect gift... know where I can get that done?

Missing: One Muse

The world is so chock full of unfunny right now. The real world, even my twisted world. It is hard to find a muse in times like these. I don't want to talk about the war(s)... everyone is doing that, and it is just as depressing today as it was yesterday- but hold on to your socks- it'll probably be worse tomorrow.
I miss home, I miss my family, and I miss my friends...
Just nothing chuckle-worthy, or even mildly amusing today, or yesterday for that matter. It's much too hot and humid to do much of anything to break the cycle of boredom. Over thirty people have dropped dead from this oppressive heat wave that is baking Europe so far this summer. **"The summer heat is simply not abating," said meteorologist Holger Starke, predicting continued high temperatures in Germany at least until the middle of the week.** Fan-fucking-tastic.
I hate summer... how many days until school starts? I love having the company of the kids here- but they are sick of being here- as much as I am sick of every errand and project in the house having to turn into a big ordeal.
Even the most creative ideas of keeping them entertained are falling on deaf ears... they give me that vacant stare and heavy sigh. "No, thanks mom. sigh...." Then they walk off and go do their own things.

It's my kid's way of telling me to go piss up a flagpole.

I lied a little, but only to me.

So, not intentionally or anything. I thought maybe I was doing okay, but I wasn't. Topamax sucks big dicks, (then they get caught in your throat). At least for me. We have a new side effect.... spontaneous vomiting. I was just sitting here after dinner, getting my re-runs groove on, ala Buffy, and suddenly had the urge to go boot my dinner. I have stopped taking said pills.
It's not just the side effects, but with the up and coming bon voyage to my uterus coming, I feel I could be handling this a lot better than I am. I am on some kind of am emotional tear- going for a biggest bitch of the year award this weekend.... So fuck all. Truth be told I feel like I am losing my grip, having these totally rational conversations on one side of my head- trying to talk the other really pissed off and depressed side down. Most people get the urge to hit something once in awhile.... I want to stand on my fourth floor balcony with my plates and throw them like frisbees, just to see if I can get them to explode when they hit that tree.
I am sure Dr. R is going to have a field day with the crazy woman who likes to self medicate, but I think I want to be put back on the other stuff. Some extenuating circumstances have come to light regarding that fucking nazi-torture device of an IUD that makes me think the former drug safer and better for me than being on the up and down hellevator I am currently riding.
In the mean time I find myself grieving the upcoming loss of my uterus as if it were some beloved member of my family with a terminal illness- which is stupid... as I have been pretty sure for some time now of 2 things. Firstly, I am sick of this fucked up idea of a cycle my body has, and secondly, I do not want anymore kids- I am crazy enough with the two I have... Yet, I cry. Maybe it is like feeling terrible watching your "bad kid" get sent to death row. He's a bad kid, but you still love him....
I need a beer.... as soon as the topamax wears off, I'll go get me one.

The Side Effects Of Being Crazy

You can read all the pamphlets and internet sites about side effects of medications, but you will never get the full gist of it until you get it from someone who has taken the pills, so here for your education, (or entertainment), is my own personal catalog of oddities I have experienced thus far with Topamax.
~As I have already previously documented, I can not drink any kind of carbonated beverage. It tastes like dog ass.... Excepting beer- even that tastes a little bit weird, but it is tolerable. I think maybe because the bubbles are naturally a part of the beer and not artificially introduced. I have yet to try my favorite of all wines, a wonderful confection called "Pearl Wine", but if I can't drink that, I may end up curling into a small ball in a corner and lamenting the meaning of life as a sane woman.
~Skin tingling is a new sensation. I am not talking, "I sat on my foot too long and it fell asleep" tingles... it is more like, "Creamed christ on toast, there are roaches crawling all over my face!" tingles. Most unusual. Luckily it doesn't last for too long, and it only seems to happen for the first few days when my dosage is dicked with, so not too bad.
~Hiccups. Inconvenient ones. They seems to hit at the worst times- like when I am taking a piss, or relaxing in a bath- or on the phone with someone I actually need to communicate some type of important information to. My favorite ones hit me when I am driving on the autobahn. Not the little hiccups either. They make me jump hard and try to suck my tonsils down my throat. It's like a mini-work out, as I end up with a sore gut when they finally pass.
~The worst of all my side effects thus far is the tennis ball gullet. That is to say, I spend about 30% of my day feeling like I started to eat a car tire whole... then forgot to finish swallowing it. I think it's a phlegm ball of some kind.... I can swallow and swallow and swallow and it won't move- water does nothing for it... yes I can cough and hack it up- even hock it like a teenage football player- but it returns a minute later. It's worse when I lay down. I am convinced that this is why people usually lose weight when taking Topamax. Hard to scoff down a quart of Ben and Jerry's when you feel like you have a porno-sized dick caught in your throat.
~The upside. I have lost some weight on this shit. I don't overeat, as I find that the whole eating thing gets boring really quick, I just push my plate away sooner than I used to.
I also feel stable. which is what I am taking the stuff for in the first place. Stable is good... if I didn't have that, what would be the point of walking around with a tennis ball in my throat and crawling skin,right?

Uterus Free For Me

It is seldom I piss and moan twice in one day, but I must. A harrowing trip to the GYN has removed from my life, (and my uterus) the horrible IUD that I had put in 7 weeks ago. Keep in mind I had agreed to this thing to try to make my womanly problems better, and quite to the contrary, I have spent the last two months suffering in ways I never thought possible.
Hysterectomy, here I come. I am 32 years old, and at this ripe old age, I have made it further than any other woman in my family with my plumbing in tact. For various reasons, my mother, most of my aunt's and both Grandmothers had their collective uteruses (uteri?) yanked out by the age of 31; some as early as 27.
While I am all for the endless cycle of torturous cramping and mess every 13 days (that's right, every 13 days) of my life to end, I am still struggling psychologically with the idea of very permanent sterility. No, I do not want anymore kids. Not right now. Probably not ever. But that's probably... I just don't like the idea of saying , "I can't have anymore children."
I guess I will have to get used to it. As I was talking to Dr. T today, she said with my latest list of symptoms over the last year, it is likely I would have issues conceiving anyways. Realistically, it occurred to me, as I sat in the tub today, listening to the kids I already have run up and down the hall, sounding like someone had opened the door of a chimp cage in front of an elephant stampede, were I to get pregnant tomorrow... that child would graduate high school when I was fifty-fucking-one years old. For a good reality check... That's how old my mom is NOW.
So... as I afore said... It's Hysterectomy-ville for me. My doc did recommend a good site for me to check out called Hystersisters. If any of you know of any other good resources I can check out, do let me know. I am a tough bitch, but I can always use more good info to alleviate that scared shitless feeling.

God In a Lab Coat?

The one issue that I have been passionate about since I was old enough to understand and care has been stem-cell research, since I was about 17 or 18 year old. That was in the early 90's when it first started showing promise of great things. It is also one of the first thing the first President I ever got to vote for did when he got into office did, was lift the ban on research and provide funding for the new science. That all changed when this pig-headed stubborn asshat Bush got into office.
Standing on some moral high ground, (the one that has the same scientific basis as "Intelligent design"), he is denying the scientific community in this country what it needs to move forward and save lives, and help put an end to so much human suffering. He does it because.... "It's wrong..."? What? It's wrong? I have heard the argument. "It's a life."
It's a clump of cells, hardly beyond the chemical reaction of X chromosomes being paired with Y chromosomes. Our scientists are wasting their time an money trying to find inventive ways to make more stem cells instead of using the one we can get and have for the diseases that need curing, and that is precisely what the administration had in mind when it started this tirade years ago. To stop the research in it's tracks... Bush and his religious zealot cronies have set the doctors back decades, and apparently, he is still at it.
Pretty sad when even the wife of a President who was once against stem cell research is begging Bush to reconsider his stance.
If God doesn't belong in our schools, and the government keeps Him out for us... How is it that the Government can let Him in... nay- run wild in our laboratories, where he most certainly not needed... as the scientists are the ones who kicked Him out in the first place.

Shameless plug

Time for me to do my shameless sales pitch...since i pay for this site, I can use it to do my sales pitch. I am selling my Mad Hatter Costume. It is on eBay. I am starting it at $65.00, and the reserve is 80. As I paid about 150 in supplies and about 4 days in labor, its a steal. The auction can be viewed HERE.
So... go take a look, and please- buy it. You'll love it... you might even win a contest with it. If you do, I get half the proceeds! HA!
I will also be selling kids costumes this year, more on that when I get them all done and ready to go.

Trimming the Fat in Oak Park

Nothing gets me more fired up than a bunch of tiny-minded, stupid men doing ignorant things. A suburb of Chicago has decided that fat women walking their "sexy" sidewalks are not the image they want, so they are getting an injunction against a Lane Bryant from opening in Oak Park, IL. You can read more about it here.
Apparently, sometime ago, the ladies on the view opened the door to this suburb being one of the One of the 5 sexiest in the country. That having been said, some tiny minded asshat got into office in this little community and now thinks that plus sized gals don't fit that image. Now, I am not going to stand up and say a woman with an oxygen tank and a walker who weighs as much as as a pick up truck is Cindy Crawford.... But for hell's sake...

THESE are considered plus sized women. Do they look unsexy? DO they look like human litter to the streets? Something that would contaminate even the most misogynist ideal of attractive?
I have seen some pretty fugly skinny women in my day. I am no skinny woman my damn self. I am very pretty, too. I have big tits, hips on the bottom, and a waist line in the middle. It is not what I wear on any given day, but a way I feel about me, and the way I carry myself that makes me attractive. I show off my cleavage and and waist line when I feel like it; some days I wear baggy jeans and a grimy sweat shirt. Doesn't really matter- it's an attitude, and it is the same attitude I had at size 8, as I have now at size 16, and when I was a size 24 two years ago.
All an action like this does is make the asshole who brings it look small and stupid, certainly not the women who would be customers. I wouldn't be surprised if all the women in that town lynch the bastard.
They have nothing to be ashamed of, but you, Mr. David Pope. You have some obviously askew ideas of what sexy and attractive is, and I doubt you would know what alluring was it if smacked you in junk, not matter what size it was wearing.

Dreaded Visit

In seven short hours my daughter will come face to face with one of my great phobias... the dreaded dentist. She has a condition called Shark Teeth, which is to say she has adult teeth that have come up behind her baby teeth, and her baby teeth refuse to fall out. It is causing her some pain when eating... and for some other kids that would be a mild thing... but when anything comes between the great eating machine and food... it is a big deal.
I will be brave for her, I promise. No fear from mommy. She is a little worried, as when her big brother went to the dental office, he came back numb with a big silver tooth the first time, and the second, with his face packed in bloody cotton. She asked if the doctor would give her a sucker when she was done. Stifling the laugh, I explained to her about how that would be counter productive, but that she might get a free toothbrush. She was less than impressed. "Hey, maybe he will pull your baby teeth out, and you can leave them under your pillow for the tooth fairy!"
"And I can get money?!"
"Of course!"
"Well...Okay.... But.. Does the Dentist have stickers, like those doctors who gave me shots?"
"I don't know sweetie, they might."
"They better!"
Well, hell be damned, I guess they better. Wouldn't want a kid who has had to go without crunchy granola bars and granny smith apples for 2 weeks on your ass for not having stickers in your office jumping your case, now would you? Sounds a fate worse than death. I am sure all will be fine. Maybe I should put some of my stickers in my purse from here, just in case... nah... screw em. I hate the dentist anyways. Will be funny to watch them get their asses dressed down by a six year old.

Modern day crusades

My husband is channel surfing trying to find something to lull his brain to sleep, and has settled on the news. I am horrified to hear Condi Rice spouting forth some of the the MOST ARROGANT SHIT I have ever heard in my life. "WE want a this kind of Middle east. WE have a vision of this in the Middle East. Our Allies (What... all two of them?) and We feel that this is the future of the middle east, and it scares them..." You may notice that since the escalation in Israel, there are few standing by our side. Everyone seem to want the killing in Lebanon to stop... everyone but the war mongers in the American White House. Our list of friends is suddenly very short.
I digress. Since when it idid become OUR Middle East to impose any of our anything on? What an arrogant attitude. Sure, it's a global community, and we can have an opinion, and I certainly think that we should stand up and say something about what is going on... so far what we have said is dead on balls WRONG (P.S.- Israel, Please stop bombing the shit out of your neighbors. You're scaring the world.)
But Getting on the news and just putting it out there that "we" have a vision for the next generation for that area of the world, and the will to impose it seems some how wrong, and a sure fire way to make sure my kids have a fresh supply of enemies at the gates when it comes their time. Thanks, ever so, you arrogant whore. I happen to be one of the "WE" you supposedly represent, and I sure didn't vote for you. (I didn't vote for that babbling chimp in the white house either, but a some people did. No one voted for you.) I don't much appreciate being clumped in with the likes of you and yours, so please, leave those kind of "WE" statements out of it. You ain't we.
It's people like you that put American lives in danger by doing nothing more than opening your silly stupid mouths and making people see us as overbearing pompous egotistical asses, who think we know what's best for everyone else,as if the rest of the world's populace needed to be tended like our children.
Even the Putin made fun of Bush today when he suggested that he model Russia's new democracy on the plan we gave Iraq. He Laughed at him in front of the Russian and world press, saying "I don't think so." Are we so assured that our way is the best way that we are going to go out and introduce it to the rest of the world no matter what they think? I am sure that Stalin and Hitler thought their ideas were a great idea too.
I love democracy, and I love my country.... I don't think it is a cause for a modern day crusade and it seems more and more that is what this administration is turning it into, and I for one have had enough. There are still a lot of people who look at the Stars and Stripes and see it as a symbols of freedom and liberation. There numbers are growing who see it as the hallmark of a bully. That is not what I want for my country. It's sure as hell not what I want my husband and his friends out there laying his ass on the line for. I really hope this can get turned around in some way- before we go from being the bully and joke we are now to something much worse.... A nation feared instead of respected.

Credit Ratings

Just hit Oprah reruns round the bend. Ugh. (This is what we get on AFN... it was this or The View...double Ugh. It's like a fuckin train wreck. Can't look away.) She is doing this thing on debt. These poor bastards up to their eyeballs in debt. Credit cards got them in trouble. How does one spend $40,000 they didn't have in the first place?! This is not include the house or car payment, by the by.
We have no credit cards. We did once, but we got rid of them; at the pentacle of our debt we had about $3,000 in bills on them.
All gone now. Funny thing that, as we check our credit report from time to time, and it seems our lack of Visas and Mastercards hurts our credit rating, as we make no payments to any of these blood sucking bastards. It''s some kind of a sick loop hole. All the experts say- get out of debt- pay them off. We did, and in the fine print on the bottom of the page it says "We see you have no credit cards. This can lower your score to prospective creditors..."
Then you hear tales of credit card companies that will take away your account if you pay them off every month, because they can't make money off you in interest. What the shit is that? We have that unique circumstance here, of course that even if I wanted to try and get a card from one of these vampiric bastard companies, they wouldn't know what an APO is if it bit them in the ass, so I couldn't get one.... probably better that way.
I just think it sucks that somehow being debt free is not making my credit score climb higher, but hurting it more. Who do you believe? The experts who say, "Pay it off?" or the credit report people who say "It's hurting you."? Or.. do you pay it off after it has hurt you? Does that look better?
Screw it.I don't need a debt diet. I am on a cash diet, and we are doing fine. We may have to save up for the big ticket stuff sometimes, but it's gotta be better than what those poor people are going thru on Oprah's stage, right?

Off today

We'll jump off the political bandwagon for today, as I woke up this morning, and I think my left arm had an argument with my body some time in the night and tried to pack it's shit and leave- at least that's the way my shoulder feels. Sucks too, as today is commi-scary day, and hauling groceries up four flights in 90 degree heat and 80% humidity with a bad arm is just bumming me all sorts of out.
My 6 year old is primping for the big trip to the store... because when you are a six year old little girl, any trip out of the house requires a good gussy. complete with the perfect skirt and hair bobbles. I have no idea how the ultimate pink-hating tom boy me ended up with my prissy princess Rachel...but I am convinced it is some Karmic retribution for beating up too many little boys in my youth.
Then comes the ever so difficult task of prying my son from his video game to put on his clothes, then his socks and shoes, then to actually get him out the door... and then the whole while we are out to get him to stop his bitchery that we will be home when we get home- in plenty of time for him to play his game and get to go out and play with his friends at 2 o'clock.
Just a few more weeks until have my sanity back when school starts. Saints be praised.

You just pissed me off

I was screwing around on Blog Explosion, as naturally I would, and I stumbled on to Martian Anthropologist's Site. Another blogger out there. He's a bit of a nut, who claims to be an independent. I found his comments to one of my blog buddies comments on his site, and got a little miffed so I had to post my own and make my own rant here.

Now, I don't support the war, and I think Bush is a big babbling idiot who puts us in danger every time he gets in front of a camera... He makes people of the world want to hurt Americans. That being said...
I find it an affront to my sensibilities that anyone would think that many of the guys who are "over there" joined or stayed in because they are about being "Gung Ho" patriots. Honestly- who is swallowing what they are told by the media now? They see some guys filmed by the AFN camera crews saying "I am happy to be here serving my country, and I am doing an important job." , and you think they are happy to be there? Do you think that is the package recruiter sold them on?
Sure, they may feel proud that they are a part of something bigger than them, but a little piece of their souls gets eaten away every day knowing they missed the birth of their first child just to ensure that steady paycheck and those good health benefits for little Janey Rottencrotch back home in Nowhere, USA.
The ones who do get shipped over there for 12 months at a time go over knowing there is a much higher probability of coming back divorced than coming back dead, so I guess that is some consolation.
You ask most of the young guys... not the lifers... but the kids why they joined... they will tell you... "The college money". See the US Government has this nice little package called the GI Bill, and for a bunch of kids in our generation, it is the best shot they have at getting a college education. So they figure they will pull a few years in the Army, and get out. No big deal. The Army makes it sound great too. They are kids with dreams and goals and see a clear-cut, easy path to get there, that includes a steady paycheck and benefits along the way.
While they are off humping the streets in Iraq or Afghanistan, me and the other wives get free medical care, shop at the commissary, and have a plethora of services at our disposal to meet any needs we may have, from recreation to support. I live in base housing, I pay no rent, no electric bills, no water bills. I even qualify for EIC on my taxes. No we don't have it all, and there is much about the military wife life that sucks ass, but they try to make it as comfortable as possible.
I didn't see McDonald's or Wal-Mart offering that package... nor did I see them telling a spouse that "IF you should happen to lose your husband in this deal, we'll give you $400K and lifetime benefits to thank you for your sacrifice." It seems to me the thought of "joining the military for your family's sake" being wrong is the furthest thing from these guy's minds.
So the next time you decide to jump down some soldiers ass about how his priorities are all fucked up for having a good job with a steady paycheck and kick ass benefits, go check out the pay scale at Comp USA and see how good that zit faced little prick who stocks shelves at night is doing for his family and what his future looks like... and then come talk to me about how my future looks with my husband putting his ass on line for his job.

Why They Hate Us

You wanna know why I think the world hates America?

Yesterday a building fell down in New York City... Attempted Suicide Murder. It got 4 or 5 hours of continuous coverage on the news. HOURS... of a building. This wasn't a frickon terrorist bombing here folks... it was a building fall down, go boom. Some depressed asshat who should have been better monitored by his shrink decided to try to kill himself and his ex by blowing up their NY mansion. boo-hoo-hoo.

Today... 7 Bombs were set off on commuter trains in Mumbai, India during morning rush hour. Many INNOCENT people are dead, many more are injured. (Kinda like the people in the WTC, except on another part of the planet). The whole world has it's eyes on India right now.... the whole world except America. America is talking about Bush's budget, Syd Barrett's death, the building in NY yesterday... oh, and they might happen to off-handedly mention the bombs in India.

Know why they don't care? Cause if it wasn't "Our Terrorists" that set those bombs off.. (Al Queda), it don't count in our war, and therefore, not good enough for our media to cover. American people as a whole are so very involved with what is going on in America, but we get our collective panties all in a wad when people call us isolationists, or ignorant. We are, generally, as a people. We go out and introduce our "way of life, liberty and freedom" to other parts of the world... and we know jack about squat about those other parts of the world, and frankly, we don't care to ask anyways. There are people out there dying. We don't know about it because our media doesn't tell us... they don't tell because we don't ask... nay demand to know. Not like we care anyways.

It really pisses me off. Makes me glad I have a British News feed... at least someone doesn't have their cameras so far up the administrations ass that they can see the rest of the globe, and the people in it.

Hackin'

There is no further explanation than this... my sub-domain got hacked yesterday. I don't know why- maybe just because they could... maybe some asshat hacker is a die-hard AAFES fan and didn't like my content, but in any case, they killed my forums. Never you fear. My husband, in his infinite wisdom, no doubt has the site backed up round here somewhere and he can replace it.

Speaking of the husband, he says I need to be be more political in order to generate more return readerage. I don't know. I think that some of you come here to get away from the Fox vs ABC stuff. So in that light, and to satisfy both sides of the argument I present Dropping Knowledge. It's political... and a side of politics and the world that main stream media and the the average person doesn't want to look at or think about.
Please take a second to take a look at it, and think about it. Here's my take on it... you can't just throw money at the problem. America tried that with welfare. We still have the impoverished lining the streets of every metropolitan area of the country. There are no easy answers.... But there have to be answers to be had- and the best solutions may yet com from the people out there who have lived it, and live in it and near it every day of their lives. Yes, there are those who are just looking for the hand out, but there are many more who would rather not, but have gotten so far down the hole of despair they see no way out. Post your questions to the site, read the information, and go back to see what other insights the people around the world have. We can make a difference. All it takes is giving a shit... Something the politicians and media stopped doing a long time ago.

Welcome home #10

It all started when I was 16, and I got my driver's license. As the eldest grandchild, I was spoiled rotten, and my grandfather bought me a cute little Hyundai Excel. It was a stick and blue and I zipped to and fro when I had places to go... until I got hit in a parking lot, and totaled it. (1)
With the insurance money, I got my first POS... A Pontiac Fiero. Everything that could go wrong with this car did. Including, but not limited to- the A/C compressor seizing up, the alternator seizing up, the motor mounts FALLING apart and dropping the engine on Sahara Blvd., and the intake manifold blowing itself apart. It was from that car that I got my basic education in car repair. (2)
When I found out the rings were burned out, I sold it for a much discounted price to a mechanic and started driving my mom's old... nay classic 1977 Nova.
The car that was almost as old as me. I loved that car. It had no A/C, no power steering, and really shitty bucket seats transferred in from a Datsun, but it had a kick ass in-line straight six .302 and 3-on-a-tree shifting. It was reliable as all get out. The only thing that ever broke down on it was parts that weren't supposed to frickon break.... like the bolt that physically connected the clutch pedal to the clutch mechanism through the firewall. We had to have one machined up. I got rear-ended in it, and it broke the fork in the tranny. (3)
After that I went on to driving mom's truck (4), and when I got my first real job, I bought a Toyota Tercel. Got screwed on the interest, as I was a first time buyer, but hey- I was excited! It was my first car from a dealership. The day after I made my first payment, I totaled it. Talk about up-side down.(5)
My next car was my neon. I LOVED my neon. It was the only new car I ever bought. It was black and sporty and I zipped all over Las Vegas in it. It was the car I had when I met my husband. Some nice non-english speaking lady was nice enough to run a red light in front of me and I hit her going almost 50 mph in the driver's side door with my pretty black neon... No more neon. (6)
Once I had recovered from my injuries, I started recovering from the shock of being upside down on a "Brand new car" and a "first time buyer" totaling my car. So I got a used car. A Jimmy- "Little" GMC Blazer type thing. It was cool. A 4x4. A Beast really. Gas Hoggy, but it rode nice, and I liked it. It didn't break down much... but when along came baby- the two door thing REALLY sucked one (Try lifting a 30 pound load of kid and seat straight armed into a small space), so we got rid of it in lieu of something more family suited. (7)
My Intrepid. I wanted one. I got one. I still have it. We brought it with us. She's a dream. She has seen better days cosmetically- as she is old, and has spent many long hours in the searing heat of the arizona sun, and days on the salted snowy roads of Germany, but she never lets us down. (8)
Time came when we got here to Germany that I needed a car, so Kev went down and got me the Mini-beast. The Van. It was the Pregnant Roller skate. Burgundy, and very typically clunky mini-vanish. that is the only thing I didn't like. Other than that- it ran great. I got rid of it yesterday. (9)
Welcome home Isuzu Rodeo. It's used, and it's cute. Gold paint, stick shift, brown interior. It's not a mini-van. It runs smoothly, the engine compartment is clean and it sounds good. It rides very nice. I am very happy with it. (10)
I plan to keep this one. At least until we leave Germany. When we get back stateside, we can move on to #11 and #12. So... do the math for me... I am 32 and I have had 10 cars so far.... (actually more, as I am sure I am forgetting something in there somewhere.) What does that average out to?

New Meds, Again

So, two months back I had a little rash that I showed to my shrink, and he had a little freak. So he took me off the Lamictal, in hopes of finding something new, better, faster... or at least something that didn't put me at risk of my skin sloughing off in sheets. Cue Topamax.
All hail Topamax. One of the few off-label bi-polar drugs left out there that does not have weight gain as a side effect. Yesterday I discovered a side effect of this new pill I was aware exsisted but was not prepared for.
As I sat down with my sandwich and prepared to have a late lunch, I brought with me to the table an ice cold, and assuredly delicious Dr. Pepper. At least that's what I thought until I cracked it and took a drink. At first it tasted flat, and overly sweet- like diet coke- and as it hit the back of my throat, the taste took on that of a greasy penny with bubbles. I was sure it was a mistake. I actually caught myself looking at the can as if it had done something wrong.... It had to be a mistake. So I tried it again. I got the same results, nay, in fact, slightly worse.
So, I can no longer drink soda, as it tastes like dog ass. I have read on other sites that some people can no longer drink coffee. I think it must be something to do with the mix of sugar and caffeine- luckily for me I don't put sugar in my coffee. If I had to give up coffee, I might as well give up the meds all together.
Update: It's not the caffeine. It's the bubbles. I just got back from the commiscary. Bought a mineral water. Tastes like shit. Sicky sweet and quite gross. Looks like I am off the carbo-bubbles. Damn.

Tweeking

This is about it. Albeit there is still tweaking to be done here and there- like there is no calendar on the archive pages... and some archives have bigger padding than others... this is pretty much the final look for the blog- at least for the next few months.

I do have to extend thanks to the husband for all the help, as he did most of the new coding and design.

And of course, ever present in the background fixing the little things is Placebo. Were it not for her efforts, I would have given up up and sent a token box of Cat Shit to the people at Six Apart and Movable Type days ago.

(When I asked for a picture of her, this is what she sent. Kevin thinks it is symbolic. It's a "Chick")
So... back to business.
Welcome to the new, improved Nuthouse.
Same Old Shit, New Exciting Look!

And Again

That's right... I am still screwing with the site... and despite my best efforts to make it great working with what I got, it may actually require a complete overhaul- which I am dreading... As it will require recoding all of my shit, and I hate it. HATE IT.

In other news, I may be calling my GYN this week and tell her to take this miracle IUD and stick it. Since putting it in 3 weeks ago, I have not stopped bleeding or cramping. I haven't gotten laid in more than 2 weeks. It makes sense to me that it is a contraceptive- not for it preventing pregnancy... It stops you from having sex all together. It's bullshit.
So, my website is in need of help, I am sexually frustrated, and I am in pain. I wouldn't wanna live with me this week. Would you?