Scariest. Doctor. Ever.

I finally broke down and went to the doctor for pain relief and something for my cold. I was more than a little tired of crying like a bitch from the cramping everytime I coughed- and the hacking was becoming a constant companion. I made an appointment with my PCM, Dr. Kazmar.

Now, I have never seen this guy before, and as requested I show up 15 minutes before my scheduled time of 9:20.... and of course this asshat was running way late, so I didn't get in to see him until 10:10. Had I known what I would find, I wouldn't have been in a hurry to go in.

I shit you not, I jumped back 3 feet when I walked into his office. Wood paneled walls- as anyone who has been in a military treatment facility will tell you- that's weird in it's own right- but the wood was a gorgeous dark cherry color, and he had the matching desk, matching chairs, complete with victorian upholstery, of course, and the little table in the middle.

That was the end of the odd, then we got to the really scary part.... On his walls are pictures. Not landscapes, not family, oh no...THIS fucking guy has his walls covered with 8x10 "Service Pictures"- (pictures of people in dress blues, flag behind them, blah blah blah). Not a few of them- not 5 or 10 photos of friends from the past.... ALL FOUR FUCKING WALLS of a 20x30 foot room covered. Ceiling to floor. With officers in dress blues, and each of them signed with a silver or gold pen. (No enlisted men. Just officers... I don't think he likes stripes.) If I had to take a rough guess, I would say 250 head shots were glaring back at me from the walls of this freak's office. Each of them in a wooden frame, spaced about half an inch apart from each other on all sides, and they were all looking at ME! WIGGINS! Big wiggins. That's 500 eyes watching me, as I sat there.... squirming.

Jesus Jumping Christ on a trampoline! While waiting for him to come in, I couldn't do anything but stare in abject disbelief and horror at those walls... and they stared right back. It was like some sick headhunter's trophy room. Floating decapitated heads, trapped and preserved behind glass, and stuck on display.

You know he had to ask these people for these pictures, because who gives an 8x10 picture of themselves as a gift to a doctor? Who gives out these pictures anyways? Most people I know only display these images in their homes- for their families. I bet he keeps the silver and gold pens to sign them with in his desk, and probably has a back-up box of frames stashed somewhere... not that he has room for anymore on the walls.

Amongst the scary faces- I counted four women. Four, out of 250. Fucking beautiful. I can't wait to tell him about my cramps. Whoopie! Hadn't even met the dickhead yet, and I knew I was gonna get that "You're a pussy" look. Looking in the faces of all those fucking people- they told me "You're right. He's gonna treat you like an asshole." I swear I started hearing them whispering.... They were saying "Run away! Run! Now!"

Yes, he was a discompassionate male doctor when it come to my cramps. Bedside manner of Ebola locked in a man's body. I can draw only two conclusions. He is either incredibly insecure- and needs all that shit on the wall to bolster his sense of accomplishment. Or, he is terribly arrogant, and wants to make sure all his patients KNOW he is as great as he thinks he is before he comes in the room... It says so, right there... on the pictures.. in gold pen.

I will be calling tricare today to be reassigned to a new PCM. Not wanting to go back and be trapped in the twilight zone with Dr. Weirdo. I'm not sure, but I think I barely got away today. OMG, do you know how much money I could make for sneaking people down there for a peek- like a freak show? You'd pay to see that, right?

Gonna have a drink before bed- to stave off the nightmares of hundreds of faces staring at me through windows. I may never recover.