Where indeed....

Where have I been? Working. Working mucho hard on getting these dresses done.

Suffering. I have been clenching my teeth and bearing it through the torture of my fucking menses... The upside being this is the last one I will ever have. That in and of itself is a weird thing to say or wrap my head around. This is my last period.

Most women won't say that until 50ish... and even then they don't know for sure until it just stops showing up. I, on the other hand, am sending mine packing. I am somewhat on edge about it- as I had my pre-op last week, and got the green light. So this is really going to happen. Holy shit. Major surgery... bitchy nurses, hospital robes, and bad food... A permanent solution.

IN other news.... I have no other news, it's pretty much all about me holding my proverbial shit together so I don't freak the fuck out before surgery- but check out the purty pictures on this site. I spent 30 minutes oohing and aahing. (I have no life.) It's relaxing.

Oddity

Perhaps some other mom has run into something similar... because I am completely fucking baffled.

Whilst doing the dreaded hated all consuming chore of laundry today, I found my son's dirty undies in the pile. Nothing odd there. What is strange, and somewhat disturbing is how I found them. Not with the tell tale "I'm all boy" shit stripes racing thru the crack... but there were three pairs stuffed one inside the other. In other words, he is wearing triple play drawers.

It's truly a "What the fuck?!" moment for me. Why, baby, why do you need to wear your Yu-gi-oh undies, stuffed in your Scooby panties, all over the top of the classic tighty whities? A few weeks ago, I found two pair together, and I dismissed it. I off handily asked him then about it, and got a shrug, and an "I don't know," Now he is wearing three at a time...

Little boys are weird as shit. There can be no other explanation for it. At least it puts to rest the mystery of why he has no underwear in his dresser each day- when his sister still has gobs left in hers. I will ask him again tomorrow... odds are I will get some lame ass dismissal of my concerns.

I am thinking it is some phase... spurred on by something said at school by one of the idiot children he attends class with. Three pairs of drawers though? What the fuck is happening during those lunch room discussions that makes him want to bulk up his pants? Most guys use socks! Maybe I should tell him that... Good info to have at the tender age of 7, don't you think?

Miss me yet?

I know I am slacking on this blog- and all 4 of my loyal readers must be amiss without their daily dose of snarky bitchery. Fear not. I am 2/5 of the way done on my projects- and as my sweetie Jane requested to see pictures of the distraction that keeps me away from you all, here is a little taste of what I have accomplished so far. 2 down, 3 to go.

Life and Death

Life~ Quite a few years back, my boyfriend at that time, got sick. Really sick. High fever, bad headache, sore neck. I would give him NSAIDS, and it would seem to help, but never for more than an hour or two. After 24 hours of me constantly hovering with a thermometer in on hand and a cold rag in the other, I had figured out that there was something really fucking wrong. He would drift in and out of being sentient, and got very disoriented. The higher the fever, the worse he got, and I would either give him tylenol poisoning or do something.

His parents hated me. H.A.T.E.D. me. His mother thought I was some demon corrupting her son, and I was single handedly going to take his soul to Hell. I had to make the call. It took me hours to try and convince the boyfriend that he needed to be taken to the hospital.... actually I never had him convinced. I called his dad anyway. After arguing on the phone with his hard ass headed dad for half an hour, I finally talked him into coming to get his son and take him to the fucking ER.

Diagnosis? Bacterial Meningitis. He was in the hospital for a couple of days being treated for it, and the nurse told me that he very well could have died... especially after I told her how bad he had gotten at home. But he didn't die. I played a big part in saving a life.

Death~ A woman, with her mother in the car, ran the red light across Las Vegas Blvd. By the time she hit the center of the intersection she was clocking about 40 mph. So by the time I saw her, all I saw was driver's side door, and her terrified face- milliseconds before impact. I was also traveling fast- 48 mph, and when I T-Boned her vehicle everything in my car turned white with air bag and chemicals. Her velocity continued mostly forward, as she was speeding the intersection, and she wrapped her POS 70's-mobile around the signal light pole going about 30 mph, at least thats what the cop told me. My skid marks were all of 9 to 10 feet long; I never had time to brake.

When I finally kicked my way out the passenger side of my car, (way pissed off and ready to beat her fucking face in), I walked over and saw a woman's face looking like it had been in a bare knuckles prize fight. She had eaten steering wheel... a whole shit load of it. Her face looking like it had exploded from her nose, she was bleeding all over the place, and I think her arm was broken- since her driver side door was pushed in about a foot. I got around the other side of the car, and saw a passenger- an elderly-ish woman. She seemed okay- other than the spider web in the windshield from where her head hit, and being in a lot of pain. Neither of them had been wearing their seat belts... The ultimate fucking stupidity. Ambulances came and took them away. I walked away with chemical burns from he air bag, a seat belt bruise, and a slightly more fucked up wrist than I had before.

I found out later that her mother, the passenger in the car, didn't make it. She died that day from massive internal injuries including a ruptured spleen, a lacerated liver, a collapsed lung, and subdural bleeding. (The driving daughter was in the hospital for quite some time with her injuries, but she survived...)
It wasn't my fault. I know that- but I played a big hand in that woman's death.

I didn't save or kill anyone of big consequence to world peace, political process, or someone rich and famous. But they were important to someone. The woman who died was a mother- with a family. The friend who lived has a family, (a crazy one), and friends- maybe someone he has saved. What about you, my faithful reader? Have you played a part in a life or death? Been a part of the puzzle of mortality?
(And I don't want any "He/She changed my life" shit. I get enough of that forwarded warm fuzzy vomit in my spam box- I delete it and cuss out the pud whackers that send it.)
Post in the comments.

Tschuss

UNstable

It's gonna be one of those days, I think. Oh, the joy that is bipolar meets PMS. I woke up pissed off, and ready to beat the fuck out of the first thing that moved- then I got an email from one of the girls about the dresses, adding stress to my already tense mindset. When I get on an upswing, the last thing I want is to have my well laid plans fucked with or even called into question. Seriously- I don;t need anyone freaking out about something at this point. If you want to freak- wait until later, mmmmk? I already got a call last night that added 3 or 4 hours of labor to the dress I am working on.

Days like this make me want to crawl in a hole and pull it in after me. Imagine being pissed off- like road rage pissed off, and walking around that way all day- on the verge of blowing up; completely snapping, losing it, and doing or saying something you know you'll regret later... then trying to function like a normal fucking human being for that day.

My boy-o is home sick today too, so I have to tread extra carefully- right after I get back from the store. Yea, I must journey to the valley of the shadow of AAFES and find cough syrup and lozenges. Goodie- maybe I can get behind some asshat at the gate- or some prick in line. That would really make it a well rounded morning.

I think I am gonna go take a shower- before I use the cat as a football and punt him full force off the balcony.

Amen, Sister

I just don't know what else to say...
Give a Listen (Thanks, Leo!)

In other news, I may be somewhat absent from the net and blogging (Sorry, to my 3 loyal fans) these next little while- I am ass deep in getting these dresses made for the women who have paid me... well... and in advance....

Wow, is it Thursday already?

I know the entries have been sparse this week... Been busy helping my friend PCS- and I forgot how exhausting it is to be bored for hours on end- watching movers pack boxes.
In honor of it being FOADT- I will break the lamentable silence and put up my Fuck Off list for this week.

Firstly- Fuck Off and Die to the Sci-Fi Channel for canceling SG-1. It seemed kind of inevitable when they let RD Anderson split... but shit, the show was just starting to get good again. You bastards. Now what am I supposed to do to get my sci-fi rocks off? F.O.A.D.!!!

Secondly- A warm, fuzzy fuck off to the twatwaffle running my kids school who pissed me off this morning by being a big cunt. (Again.) You know what you can do with that radio, doncha? I agree with my friend, who when last was confronted by bitchy you said... "You need to laid. " Please, take our advice- get fucked, or go fuck yourself- (they have handy tools for just that purpose...) This is two weeks so far that you have made the list- congrats, bitch.
You know, of the 10 or 12 parents I talk to on a regular basis at the school... NOBODY LIKES YOU. Not one parent. The opinions range from "I don;t like her," to "I fucking hate that bitch," You basically suck as a human being. Now, fuck off and die.

Thirdly and MOST importantly- this double fuck off goes to VistaPgaes who let the hacker bastard fuck up my site. I don't know who to hate more- the fucking slacking assholes at the server who let these jackoffs do this shit- or the hackers themselves. This makes the 3rd hack- and the second one this week. I was written back and told I needed to modify some shit- well, it's obvious I didn't know that or I wouldn't have gotten hacked LAST weekend, you asshat! Last week the fuckbags let AAFES Sucks get hit, and said "Well, next time, let us know and we'll look at it.". WTF?! Why? So you can tell the HTML retard that some of the permissions are wrong?
Actually I have decided to thank the hackers- they have shown me the GIANT FUCKING HOLES in VistaPages security and customer service... So, thanks- in so much as one can show gratitude for having to spend hours fixing their fucking site.... And VP? You suck. FOAD.

Tagged (Damn you Jane!)

I got hit for a a meme.

So it is a word association thing...
i.e.- Write the first word that pops into your head.

1. Pleasure: Music
2. Secret: Teasing
3. Candy: Necklace
4. Stigma: Bipolar
5. Erotic: Beautiful

Leave yours in the comments- or I will have to find 5 other poor bastards so they can suffer too ;)
Tschuss

Fucking Bitch FOAD Thursday

I got an email today from our account and found something quite troubling in it. To make a long story short- let me extend my sincerest wishes to DANI- and yes, you fucking wildebeest- you know who you are- please... FUCK.OFF.AND.DIE!

Without going into too much detail- We got an email from some fucking fat cow twat- 300+ pounds, with Elvis chops, and a hairy mole resembling a second head on her neck- apparently she felt the need to pursue some of the men in the hotel, married or not...

The shit thing being that she works behind the front desk of the Marriott, and was pulling this desperately insane idiocy on the guests... including getting drunk and throwing herself at (at least) 2 guys she knew god damn good and well were happily married.... then a week later proceeds to send email to an account she could only have gotten from the guest's (confidential) file.

This is not the kind of stress I need this week. (Or any week for that matter.) What kind of fucking asshole feels the need to pursue OPP? Okay, fine, I guess that turns some people's crank. Why would you go after people in your place of business? What kind of asshole does that? Ever heard the saying "Don't shit where you eat."? FUCK!!!

I sent her back a less than complimentary response, and I am still considering wether or not to forward her letter and a snarky explanation to Marriott regarding the matter. I hope you drop dead you fucking pig bitch and die in a painful way in a pile of your own shit... right after your neck mole eats your head.

Holy Shitoli!

Okay, I admit it- I don't know shit about professional tennis...Other than Andre A retiring. I only know that because it's been slathered all over the news. (Until the story was preempted by the Croc Man being staked in the heart.) I wouldn't even know it was the U.S. Open if it weren't for K2's annoying fucking habit of stopping on EuroSport just because he sees a set of tits bouncing on the screen.

Now, no joke here- the first time I saw this player on I said "That's one ugly man." Cats Hissing, Dogs Howling, babies crying kind of FUGLY. He had a square jaw that would put Charlie Sheen to shame, no lips, more of a beak than a nose... Just... Ew. One ugly man.

Then I saw that this man was playing against a woman. "I didn't know that men played women now."

K2 said, "They don't. That's a woman..."

I blinked and rubbed my eyes ala cartoon style. "No WAY!"

"Yep. It's a woman. She's French." And in so much as that might in and of itself be a reasonable explanation- it's not. This is beyond weird cultural differences.

I used to think Randy Johnson was the ugliest player in professional sports. How wrong I was. Now look at these pictures... Does that LOOK like a woman to you? Jesus Jumping Christ! I have heard of butch before, but this is a little fucking ridiculous. I know drag queens with beards who look more feminine.

EuroSport coverage of women's tennis is now banned in my house until this ugly bitch loses. I am worried "she" will scare my children, or make my cats cry tears of blood.

No Sleep = No Post

I haven't been to bed before 3 am in over a week. It has a tendency to make one unable to write or rant in any kind of entertaining manner... or unentertaining for that matter. The hangover doesn't help. How galactically stupid THAT whole thing was.
So fuck it. I'll try again after I get a nap.