« Up and Down | Main | Too.. something »
October 24, 2006
"Boob" Tube
With my recent recovery, for lack of anything else to do, I have spent hours watching the one-eyed mind fucker... much more than I would care to. In honor of my couch confinement, I am compiling a list... My collection of the biggest pieces of shit shows and people on television.
*The Individual Awards*
Bill O'Reilly. This guy is a bonafide schmuck. Not because I think his political views are wrong (I do, but that's not why I hate him) He asks a question, then cuts off the person he asked to interview if he doesn't like what they are saying, and never lets them complete a fucking thought. This silly bastard writes books for young people... To teach the kids the way to prove their point? The way to be "right" and win a debate? Talk over/louder than the other guy, then tell them their time is up. Asshat. I don't know why the peckerhead doesn't just get a cardboard cut out of the person to talk AT, as he doesn't interview or talk WITH anyone. I bet his dick has callouses on it- there's alot of self love going on with someone that arrogant.
Emeril Legasse. I seriously don't know what's worse... An unfunny loud mouth Masshole who thinks he's hilariously entertaining, or a crowd who thinks a guy in a white shirt throwing pepper in a pan and saying "Bam!" is worth a round of cheers and applause. Seriously, people? "Bam"?! That's entertaining? That's worth an ovation? It's COOKING- and they act like he is curing cancer or stamping out world hunger with his pots and pans. My daughter does more entertaining cooking shows in her bedroom with her E-Z bake oven. Might I reccommend Alton Brown... he's a corn ball- but at least you can make and use the recipes he does. Emeril, on the other hand? Total. Fucking. Tool.
Gordon Ramsay- The screaming foul mouthed Irish Chef on Hell's Kitchen... Dude! You're a cook. You're NOT scary, tough, or hard. You wear paper hats and chekered polyester pants. I know you wanna be all Ghengis Khan the tyrant and shit, but... see above- A Cook. A Chef. I'll even give you A Gourmet. None of these things equate with Bad Ass.
Ashton Kutcher- The fucking pudwhacker. The punk'd thing- the new wave of candid camera- except you pull your shit on spoiled ass rich bitches and sports stars. It's just another show demonstratrating how rich assholes have too much fucking time and money on their hands.
*The Group Awards*
Reality TV started out kinda cool. It has seriously slipped since. The only decent one I have seen that are left are... well, Amazing Race and.... um... Hold on! I'm thinking! Even the ever popular "Survivor" is hitting new highs in boredom. Assholes on an island, whoopie. Asscracks full of sand, big bikini titties, and shirtless men- back stabbing each other in the jungle. It's old and worn out. HEY! I've got it! How about Survivor:Antartica? You get an igloo, a parka, a fishing pole, and a knife. Live on that, shithead. I think it would be endlessly more entertaining to see skinny bitches in bulky jackets try to run across the ice.. slip, fall, and bust their bony asses on a frozen lake. Wanna know why it would never work? Cause you can't have tits hanging half out in subzero temperatures... and there go the ratings.
Fear Factor sucks too- how many gross fucking things can you watch people eat without reching for the remote? How many times can we stand to hear Joe count down to start and watch people cling onto spinning scaffolding on cranes? Wanna scare the piss out of somebody? Tie them to a chair and make them watch you hand out their bank account and social security numbers to a group of expert computer hackers. The first one to shit their pants loses.
The all time low? Dancing and Skating with the Stars. What the shit it is that? I bet the exec who came up with these shows was the one who had her college dorm room decorated in pink fuzzy pillows, hello kitty shit and unicorn posters until she was 26 years old. There are good concepts for shows out there- and then there is Dancing/Skating with the stars. Creamed Christ on Toast! This is the motivation for me wanting to beat the ever loving shit out of someone on the streets of Hollywood. How stupid can you get?!
What show can't you stand and why? Discuss.
Posted by TheFreud at October 24, 2006 7:53 PM
Comments
hands off Emeril!! True, the guy has an entertaining value of a wooden leg, but he donates tons of money to cancer research. So yeah, he is curing cancer. I think his mamma has some sort of it.
And Alton? Nah... I'd take Jamie Oliver. The guy has the LONGEST tounge EVER! Why he's a chef and not a porn star, I have no idea...
Posted by: Montchan at October 25, 2006 11:09 PM
I totally agree with most of those....Ashton can die. So can Survivor....but I will say that Alton takes all the fun out of cooking for me with all the science he throws in. I do love Iron Chef America, though, and Take Home Chef
Posted by: AFeskimo at October 26, 2006 1:45 AM
I responded to your lovely comment. We are a military family. I'm sorry you took the post wrong.. it wasn't really for you anyway. You very much belong at that website, which sucks because I did enjoy reading the few posts on your blog. I certainly wasn't referring to you as one of the "sad lives." I wouldn't have commented on your site if that was the case.
Posted by: holli at October 26, 2006 10:38 AM
IF you dn;t want to get blasted, some advice...
Don't bag one of my favorite sites on your blog. it2m has 2 things I rely on... military wives and bipolar women, and a sense of snarky that makes me feel not so alone in my disdain for people.
If you are a military family- as in your husband- you are obviously an officers wife, as no enlisted family could afford all your fucking perks. The only thing worse than a pretentious hypocritical bitch is an officers wife who is by nature a pretentious hypocrital bitch, who genrally takes less shit from the military and makes more fucking money for it.
As for the post not being meant for me- shame on you for defending a tool like Sudie. She's mentally unstable- even by my standards... and that's bad... and maybe you should include a qualifier like "Sad lives, save a handful" on your blog... so the crazy people out there who happen to wake up in a foul mood one day, and get directed to your site, don't get their panties wadded up in their crack.
Posted by: MsFreud at October 26, 2006 1:46 PM
As for your recent operation, it wasn't exactly a personality transplant was it? Did they find your brain up your crack as well? Cos thats where it should be!
Posted by: Anon at October 26, 2006 3:08 PM
uh - who was bagging on it2m specifically, other than talking about people who hide behind cartoons? and who was defending sudie? wtf? point me to that one.
it's sad that you personalized so much of a post that was meant neither for you, nor sudie, nor another website. you not only missed the point - you made it. i was just saying i wasn't pointing towards your life as the sad one.. but apparently you think it is.
self-destruction just tears you all apart. damn. chin up. i'm not an officer's wife. my husband's father was severely high up in the food chain but that was him.
i'll link to your blog on the sad lives part if you want me to. would that make you feel better?
Posted by: holli at October 26, 2006 5:53 PM
Baaaack on topic to TV...
The Real World - falls into your Reality TV category, but I hate it much more than any other show. Why? Because I remember how things used to be, when they took real people from all walks of life who were 18-26 year olds trying to just live. Anymore, it's nothing but a spoiled bunch of 22 year old pretty-boy-and-girl drunks. Way to ruin a good thing.
You hate Emeril, I can barely stand him. Worse though, is Sandra Lee. I've never seen much that even looked appealing, her personality grates on me, and I can't even understand why the bitch has a show, because she barely cooks. Making potato salad should not involve the words, "now take the store-bought potato salad out of the fridge". Oh! And she made these beautiful swordfish steaks and ruined them by making a fruit salsa with jarred tropical fruit (maraschino cherries too!). I could go on and on...but I won't.
Last but not least, O'Reilly does bug. A classic interview on his show goes something like this:
O'Reilly: "Ok, you have the last word."
Guest: "Well, Bill, the fact is, we need to get out of the war in Iraq because..."
O'Reilly: "You're an idiot sir, and that's all the time we have tonight!"
I'll stop now, before I get really out of control...
Posted by: OG at October 26, 2006 7:04 PM
Okay, sweet tits... you are taking this way too hard. I don't personalize your shit... but I can put pieces together. For months we have listened to endless rambling of Sudie saying "hiding behind cartoon heads" and there it is on your blog... OH and Sudie is the first one to comment on your post. Odd thing that.
Let me start my rantby saying- I don't think your blog sucks. I like it. I read it, too. Just cause I didn't like what you had to say one time doesn't mean much, really. I just have to say something when the people at it2m are being mouthed at. Ms C is one of my AF wife buddies. It seems I am not the one taking things so very personally. Pull that reindeer out of your ass and relax a bit.
As for your post that set me the fuck off...Your post started out beutifully. Really did- until you started the whole cartoon heads backhanding shit about 2/3 of the way down the post. Up until then, it was a fabulous post- and a lesson we should all be teaching our kids... but you can't pull some kind of crap and say it had nothing to do with it2m. It did- where's your integrity now in admitting it? Just sack up and say it was mostly about them, but could be applied to many.
I also hate people who try to teach lessons about integrity, then flaunt their money. Good for your baby daddy's daddy. I don;t think that qualifies YOU as miltary family. Your old man- yes. You haven't dealt with the nights thinking tomorrow could be the day you get THAT call about your husband/father getting his ass blown off.
Most of us are a bunch of working assholes, driving POS cars, living in base housing- and when we teach our kids about self worth- it is NOT while driving between two houses in luxury cars.
Lemme show you how to do this thing right, shall I?
"I am a lucky woman, I have love and security in my marriage- my husband cherishes me and our time together. He makes me laugh, and we still have fun after 10 years." (Notice he doesn't show his love by buying me shit, and if he did, I wouldn't mention said shit.)
Just so I can be prepared, how many of your cronies can I expect to come by and bomb my comments? I may need to get some popcorn to watch. :)
Posted by: MsF at October 26, 2006 7:30 PM
Let's clarify shall we?
You wrote a post 'designed' to teach your daughter valuable life lessons but you couldn't leave it at the last word thing. No. Instead you spewed vituperative bullshit which I'm sure is a really valuable lesson in being a dickhead....an over sensitive dickhead.
I'm all over knowing exactly where your 'riches' came from. Military families are notoriously underpaid. Brag much?
You're a fucking joke. You better rethink the "valuable life lessons" you're teaching your kid...cuz oops! You tossed in your own bitterness for good measure. Way to go Mom!
PS: Half the fucking net has an avatar and about .0005% have pictures of themselves as their avatar you stupid fucking dick.
Posted by: Bitter Bitch at October 26, 2006 7:31 PM
Heh. You watch gAyFN.
Posted by: Machine at October 26, 2006 7:44 PM
Um she was a "single mom" not even 2 years ago so it's not her baby's daddy ... I'd rather look at a toon avatar than her ugly fucking skeletor looking face. Just sayin.
Posted by: rachel at October 26, 2006 8:47 PM
Right, Tom is adopting Faith. I have not tried anywhere in my blog to hide the facts of my pregnancy. There's a Happy Birthday Faith post that pretty much spells that all out. Tom was in the Air Force. His dad was the Assistant Surgeon General, a Brigadier General - he was a great man.. he died a couple of weeks before our wedding. His oldest brother was in the Air Force, he was killed in a plane crash. Tom now does work for govt. but he just does active reserve work now. He's gone pretty much every month or sometimes twice a month which is why he isn't home alot. That's also where his little plane comes from - flying is his hobby. It's not like we have a private jet. We don't have a fancy house, we don't have fabulous riches - I'm just so thankful he made the effort to put us next to my parents. I missed them so much when Faith and I were by ourselves away from them. I honestly wasn't talking about your blog when I wrote that post - and Sudie commenting first, well.. why does that surprise you? Seriously. She's commented on every post since my review - maybe she saw someone else being singled out and it made her feel like she wasn't the only one.
Anyway, just because I went off over there - I didn't want you to think I was focusing on you over here in that post. No, I won't be going to that other site. I don't like getting ripped - I don't think anyone does at this rate. But I tried to turn it into a lesson by admitting I acted like an ass. However, I didn't send people over here to comment (I have no idea who left that negative anonymous comment). And unless I'm going to get ripped every time I come back, I'll probably check back over here.
Yep - I have a skinny face. I admit that in the "flaws and all" link. I lose weight when I get stressed out.
Posted by: holli at October 26, 2006 9:27 PM
An O7 in the Air Force. Big fucking deal dude.. seriously. Do you want a cookie because someone who's DEAD was in the military and for some reason you think this gives you insight to the military life?
Going out on a limb here assuming he was in over 25 years he was making 10K a month...That doesn't make HIM rich so how that makes YOU wealthy is beyond me.
Sudie isn't commenting on your site to make you feel like you're not the only one being singled out.
Sudie is a BiPolar fat chick (she calls herself that) who is in a serious manic stage and spends her entire day at IT2M clicking on every single goddamn link and commenting on their links and their commenters links and IT2M commenter's links etc.
Don't feel special darling, it's not you it's IT2M.
Posted by: rachel at October 26, 2006 10:49 PM
Um, gosh - I think you all said I was wealthy.. not me. I believe I said just the opposite. Right? You're getting confused. Sorry. And why you're commenting when you don't know what is going on, I have no clue. She asked if I was defending Sudie and if I wasn't, why she was the first person commenting on a post. I was speculating. Nothing more, nothing less.
I'm going to try and not make another rude comment here. But you're not doing a good job of following information here.
Plus, I'm not asking for a "cookie" for my husband's dead father. I was clarifying that he came from a military family. Every member of his family.
I won't spend anymore time explaining myself to you. Your insults really show the things you feel insecure about in yourself.
I'm not the one posting pictures of other people to talk about their flaws. Seriously.
Oh well, sorry.. Freud - to have this discussion on your blog.
I'll stay off here and the other comment section.
If you all can discuss without an audience, which I doubt - you have my email. Feel free to insult me that way. I doubt you would get any pleasure without other people watching you hurl words.
Posted by: holli at October 26, 2006 11:09 PM
I can assure you that I know exactly what's going on.
You're piss poor at reading people as I'm much to your chagrin not insecure about myself. Have a great day! :)
Posted by: rachel at October 27, 2006 1:28 AM
Ha Ms F she links to a picture of me in my Flickr that I took when I was sick with the flu and looked like shit but calls ME insecure. Sweetie, insecurity would be you only able to post pictures of yourself when you're eye fucking the camera and covered in makeup. :)
Posted by: rachel at October 27, 2006 1:31 AM
You've read my whole blog? Looked at every picture? I didn't think so. Insecurity is ripping what I look like, rather than worrying about yourself. Seriously. Grow up. Or don't - I hope you keep sending me the crap you sent a few minutes ago. Digging the grave and all that.
Posted by: holli at October 27, 2006 2:19 AM
No shit, Rachel, you say right on the pic caption that you need to take a shower and have your eyebrows done. So she thinks she's using it against you?
Posted by: annie at October 27, 2006 2:21 AM
Um, did I rip what she looked like? Goddang I'm so confused... anyway... yeah she found a picture of me I had right on my flickr and acts like it's a hidden treasure or blackmail worthy or something. I say it's twatwaffling time... what say you annie?
Posted by: rachel at October 27, 2006 2:36 AM
Oh and what grave am I digging... god I'm so confusticated.
Posted by: rachel at October 27, 2006 2:38 AM
Ramsey is my friend's cousin. The family doesn't like to admit the connection. He might not be a bad ass, but apparently he isn't pleasant.
Posted by: she at November 9, 2006 11:21 PM
Wow... talk about having nothing better to do... don't worry, Freud, I got yer back, lol.
Posted by: Don_Coyote at April 21, 2008 11:27 PM