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February 25, 2007
Better Call Jerry Springer....
I am an only child... in so much- as one of my parents had other children, but they didn't live with nor grow up with me. The half-sibling is so very far removed from who and what I am, that the only link you can draw between us is genetic. My father is a great man- but as this child didn't really want anything to do with him because we had "rules" in our house, she missed out on his influence. (She stayed with us once for about a month, and begged to go back to mom, cause she didn't like chores and rules, and such.) She never had that fear of God and fucking up put into her, nor the meaning of a close parental relationship where anything at anytime could be talked about and it would be okay. Her loss, no?
I saw her about 6 years ago... living in a barrio apartment complex. A place with layers of bad paint on top of cracked particle board exteriors, and a swimming pool that reminded me of the one in Karate Kid. The inside of her home was... well... not so great. She had "cleaned", but there is only so much cleaning one can do when the majority of your stuff is crap, and bears the marks of constant long lived abuse. If I was her vacuum cleaner, I would hate her.
In the Darwinian mix, she ended up at the shallow end of the gene pool, with the bad teeth, bad skin, astigmatism, and short stature... also not the brightest crayon in the box. Despite this, she found a guy, and had that oh-so-romantic shot gun wedding that all girls dream about.
My 54 year old father called me up the other day to inform me that he was a great grandfather.... What the fuck?! You're a WHAT? Okay, so... I am 33... which makes her 36ish. Her 14 year old daughter was rushed to the emergency room the other night because her stomach was hurting so bad that all swore her appendix was about to burst... and out pops a 7 pound boy. I'll wait a second while you re-read that.
Her daughter is 14. A freshman in high school. She had a baby... a from a pregnancy no one in her family or household knew about. Now I know today's parents can get out of touch with their kids, but god damn, dude... Can one be so gone as to not SEE that kind of a thing? Didn't see her in a tank and undies at any point? How could a 14 year old child not KNOW something was... "off" in the very least? Lack of periods? Swelling? Sore tits? Baby Kicking?! Then to be so emotionally removed from your child that she isn't going to come and tell you about any of these things... What the mother fuck?! 14... Holy shit. That's scary, no? (Not the brightest crayon in the box.) OH! And daddy dearest is 18. I smell an arrest warrant. The child wants to keep her child.... so my far-removed sibling has in effect just had a new baby. Just what she needs when that light might have shown up at the end of a LONG tunnel. So, going home from the ER with a baby that no one knew was coming- no diapers, formulas, crib, bottles.... Fuck me. We "know" the father is 18- if there is only one who can be. That's a big if, I think... But either chase him for child support, or throw his ass in prison... All shitty choices.
You can go ahead and flame me all you want for judging her and her family... Her style in upbringing her kids to not know better, and if anything should happen that they come talk to her about it- or at least someone responsible. Raise a girl with enough self respect to not go looking in some swinging dick's pants for acceptance and affection. Find other things for your kids to do than fight or fuck. I know it gets boring there in the midwest- but there has to be more for a barely teen to do than fuck around with men. Where the fuck was my retardo-sibling when all this was going on?! Sure, sure... maybe she was working, maybe she was busy... Bullshit- even the worst fast food job only goes 45 hours a week... Where's her father?! Shouldn't HE be providing the male role model attention for this girl so she doesn't seek it from some hard pecker?
That's right, I am a self righteous bitch, and I am okay with that... I'll be god damned that shit like this ever happens in my house. My kids are already afraid to fuck up- they'll be scared to death to open their legs... and more over- I am already well on my to teaching them that there are far more entertaining things to do with their time than get in trouble. "The male of the species is a pain in the ass- no matter how old you are- it just takes a grown up woman to deal with it"... "best want to raise kids with a guy you are gonna make them with..." "It may feel good, but it ain't worth it..." Simple. Wonder if any of those talks or thoughts even entered her mind when it mattered. (Not the brightest crayon in the box.)
Posted by TheFreud at February 25, 2007 6:00 PM
Comments
Being the newly christened Great-Grandfather, you have said everything I already was thinking. I guess everyone has a Black sheep in the family, my first daughter was obviously that person in my family tree. I look back at the "trailer trash" line she came from and can only blame her mother and her mother before her. The whole family was fucked up and I thought I could change it, Guess that's why my 1st marriage only lasted 10 months. Long enuff to father my 1st born and then my X ran off with her B/F from High School.
Chrissy, you make me proud and hit the nail on the head with this blog. I never worry about you or the kids, because I know you took away the values Mom and I taught you. I just wish my other daughter would have stuck around long enough to been influenced by you.
Love,
Dad
Posted by: Dad at February 25, 2007 6:54 PM
Your dad's right; sometimes the whiskey tango shows up no matter what. My DH's family has branches like that; I became a great-aunt upon marrying into the family (at the tender age of 31) thanks to some of the wonderful values that were passed on (fwiw, mostly from the in-laws side of the family instead of our side). One niece, who has three girls by three different men (none of which stuck around) and is barely into her 20's, finally went into rehab. Leaving my sister-in-law raising three small girls. Makes our hearts hurt sometimes, knowing those girls are being raised in an atmosphere where having a kid at 15 is no big deal.
Posted by: Christi at February 25, 2007 7:16 PM
Amen. You say you are a self-righteous bitch? I think more like human-righteous. These are things everyone has to look at if we expect people (as a collective) expect to progress instead of digging a deep dark hole to rest in.
Posted by: MCJ at February 26, 2007 10:19 PM
This was a very well-written post; I look forward to reading more from you. :-)
Take care,
K.
Posted by: ariadneK at February 27, 2007 1:07 AM
Sounds like someone's swinging dick's pants fell down long ago to start this fine family tree.
Posted by: Kettle Meet Pot at February 27, 2007 7:49 AM
Kettle, maybe so...but having met her family, and mine (yes, some are nut cases too), I would have to say the shallow genome came from that side... There isn't a one amongst our side that isn't doing well for themselves. ;)
Posted by: MsF at February 27, 2007 9:48 AM
I was pregnant at 18 years-old and my period would come like every 3 months or so...I was FIVE or SIX months pregnant and didn't know it..Teenagers are more intune with themselves so much that they don't recognize their surroundings.
I never gained weight...until the six months...I felt flutters but I thought my stomach was growling..LOL!!!
Anyhoo, teens are different..a teenagers body is different.
Thanks for stopping by at my blog:)
Posted by: Dreamwriter at February 27, 2007 1:43 PM
