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May 8, 2007
Breakfast.
Had to go shopping yesterday for groceries... For some reason, while walking down the cereal aisle, I had one of those random thoughts bring all other thinking processes to a dead halt.... "I wonder if they have Grape Nuts." I then became distinctly aware of the fact that I had come to a dead stop in the middle of the lane, and my head whipped to the left, and there they were, in all their wholesome goodness. I just HAD to fucking have them. I don't know why. They are Grape Nuts, for crying out loud, not Coco Puffs. I think it was an evil omen I failed to heed.
This morning, while stumbling around the kitchen in my usual half awake stupor, again my mind wandered to the Grape Nuts, and after getting the kids breakfast I poured myself a bowl. Holy shit. I had forgotten; a bowl of pebbles- fish tank rocks even. I couldn't hear myself think as I chewed it was so loud. I couldn't hear my kids trying to talk to me across the table. I was sure I was breaking teeth out of my head, and tearing all flesh from the roof of my mouth by turning my face into a cement mixer. Even after chewing it up, the shit is still sharp. It's the culinary equivalent of road rash on the tender flesh of the gums and palette. Still, it was tasty... despite my mouth being damaged for the experience. My poor jaw. Christ on crutches! One can only chew so much "whole grain" goodness in rock form before the mandibular muscles threaten to give way.
I have never understood why they are called grape nuts.... maybe because "Box of Tasty, Edible Fish-tank Gravel" isn't so marketable.
Posted by TheFreud at May 8, 2007 7:54 AM
Comments
OMG, Too funny Daughter... Think I'd prefer the coco-puffs.
Posted by: Dad at May 8, 2007 10:00 AM
I always liked them after they sat in milk for about 3-5 minutes, then they get a nice, almost softness to them.
Mmmmmmm, Grape Nuts. I might have to get a box.
Posted by: kerewin at May 8, 2007 7:19 PM
I wonder if they're grape seeds? Or what the size of nuts would be, if grapes had them? I agree with kerewin, they gotta sit & get soggy. But then you have to put lots of sugar on them...which defeats their purpose for me, but, oh well.
How weird you mentioned cocoa puffs, cuz that's what I've been craving lately. I think ever since Dawg reviewed cocoa puffs. He reviewed grape nuts too, didn't he? I think those are the ones he said were as heavy as cement! It was rather funny.
Posted by: jane at May 10, 2007 4:54 AM
Try the Grape Nuts Trail Mix next time. It's easier to chew and less harmful to your TMJ...
HAHAHAHHAHHAAA..good point tho.
Mom
Posted by: Mom at May 10, 2007 4:10 PM
