Vanity

My purse is falling apart. The poor old battered bag that it is... my beloved $12 purse. It has been my constant companion for 6 years. Now I am not one of "those" women. I do not spend hundreds of dollars on purses, nor do I ever have more than one in use at a time. I do not have a separate handbag to match each pair of shoes, and every mood.

Now hear this... spending hundreds of dollars on a purse is really fucking stupid. (It's equally stupid to spend a paycheck on a pair of shoes, too.) Why put out $400.00? It's a fucking bag! It doesn't give you status, or make you look pretty. It's a place to tote your shit... what difference does it make who's name is on it?! It carries your wallet and keys the same wether it is some name brand bag or "Bob's brand" bag. It a FUCKING BAG! If you are one of "those" women... please feel free to explain the fascination with purses and shoes that cost 2 weeks worth of groceries.

My afore mentioned best friend in high school, Heather... her mom came home one day from Dillard's. She was so proud of herself, as she had gotten a Gucchi bag for 30% off, and spent two or three hundred dollars or some shit on it. The conversation went like this...
Her..."I got this bag for 30% off! Ijust had to get it for you Heather. Isn't it cute?"
Me..."Cute, but I don't know what kind of person would spend hundreds of dollars on a bag."
Her...".... I would."
Me..."Sale? How much was it?"
Her..."$240.00"

Yes, yes, my foot likes to live in my mouth. That was the first time her mother decided I was a bad influence on Heather. She still hates me for so many similar reasons, and she's still a materialistic, fake, self deluding bitch. Consequently, her dad bought the two of us matching leather motorcycle jackets and spent half that on the both of them, but I digress.

I went to the BX to try to find a cheap purse. As luck would have it there was a sale on purses that day. Awesome... until I came to the nauseating realization that it was 25-50% off of really expensive "vanity with a strap" handbags, and most were ugly as shit to boot. 25% off of a $500 bag does not a good deal make. I could spend $400 on eBay and get a new wardrobe for every member of the house. What ever happened to the "good enough to carry shit" bags? The simple deal with straps, a pocket or two and a zipper? The few things they had under $30 were so god damned ugly or impractical that I would rather carry my shit around in a plastic grocery bag. So it's off to eBay for me, and we'll see what I can dig up before my poor old beloved purse complete bites it.