Can't Today

.. or any day this week. Working my ass off. Got orders to fill for Togas. Instead of them having a promotion party in suits and dresses- they have decided to go Toga.
Two of them I had planned for- the other 2 came in 2 days ago. Note the heavy sigh... so I will be back when I am done with this crazy ass week.

Rant re:school

I hate my kids teachers who seem to assign homework for ME to do. I can appreciate wanting to involve the parents in the educational process, but look here, bitch- it's their homework. If you would like me to verify that they have done it and sign something, great. I can do that. But I don't particularly like making shit loads of little baggies of coffee grounds, raisins and lemon drops to provide your class with supplies for your 5 senses exploration. What the fuck is wrong with your legs? We already supply the kids of the lazy cheap fucks who don't bring school supplies with "extras for everyone"- including pencils, paper, crayons, folder, glue, scissors- get the point? You can't trot on down to the commissary with $20, and make up 18 paper bags full of popcorn and jelly beans? Especially after I, and other parents dropped fifty dollars (or more) each in August to load the class up on those little necessities of education?

Also, if you would like my child to take a survey of 10 people- with three choices, and do it this way, and blah blah blah, please make sure to send directions that are clear with my child. If not, stop vagueing things up on the half a sentence bullshit sheet excuse for assignments you send home once a week. You are the teacher, I am the parent. I am pretty sure there is some over lap there- but lets not blur the line too far, m'kay? It is not my job to decipher what the fuck you want from archaic directions, have to check and double check her work- making my child feel incompetent- then have you send it back home asking it be redone.

Please do not send back a homework paper where you asked them to write down months of the year, and days of the week, and turn around and tell her to re-do it... simply for the fact that she used both sides of the paper, one for days, one for months. Creamed Christ on Toast! What kind of a teacher does that? Is it too much trouble to ask you to flip over a paper from a 7 year old second grader? The bitch even told her she couldn't bring her binder to school- as she didn't like having to open it to find her folder and get her homework. What the mother fuck? God forbid she has a way to keep her papers from getting crumpled with the daily abuse of her backpack.

She also sent something home after telling them to write something down, saying she needed to use a dictionary or computer. Again with the "do-over"- this ain't a term paper- it's a little kid doing her absolute best. Fuck, lady, if all you want her to do is copy information from a dictionary, or google, we can do that. As it was my understanding that little guys are SUPPOSED to phonetically spell in order to better understand word and sound structure... I am obviously mistaken. Thanks for straightening me out on that, douche, and making sure to brighten my afternoon with her heartbreak- when she wonders why she isn't smart or good enough, because she tried so hard and thought she was doing it right. The vague "directions for decoding" for assignments always make "The Joy of Crying" sessions a real treat.

Yes, I am in a snit, and it took me some time to find a groove to write on. I could have gone on and on about a myriad of this weeks bullshit- but for now, I had best retire... No need working myself in a tizzy yet... unless she assigns some other horse shit for the weekend. (And who in the holy hell sends homework on a Friday for a second grader?!)
*End Rant*

Appearances

I had a friend here who took a trip to Paris. She didn't go to see the Eiffel Tower, or walk the halls of The Louvres. She went to buy a pair of shoes... a $400 dollar pair of shoes. It took all my strength to shake my head, instead of call the PDoc and make her an appointment. The shoes were cute enough- but very similar to ones I saw on payless.com for $30.

Do you remember, in high, school the 2 girls who didn't fit in with anyone but each other? They sat alone at a table at lunch, and pointed and laughed at the "in" crowd? They took joy in watching the cliques act the ass, and rolled their eyes at the groupies who followed the popular people like sycophants? They seemed to know at least two people in every group, but kept their time with them separate from the group at large? Yeah... In case you wondered who those girls were... That was me and my best friend. I didn't fit into a clique- and my attitude about it then is the same as now... "THANK GOD".

Around fifth grade when I went through my "But everyone else is wearing it" phase, I was told by quite a few people in my family, "So what? School is for learning. It's not a popularity contest." Yeah, I hated it- but within a year or two, I was SO over fashion, and "everybody else". By high school- I wore flannel shirts, ripped up jeans and a leather jacket. I came into class with a cup of coffee in one hand and a beat to shit binder in the other. Funny thing is, I was very involved in my school- I was in the colorguard, and various choir activities. My schedule was very full... I guess it just stopped at the activities, not the social goings on of "who was banging who, and did you see what she was wearing."

Everyday of my life I have been glad that I am an individual. I pity, (and yes look down my nose at) people who live their lives striving for the approval of a social group or clique. Those poor wretches who think others will regard you with respect because of the name stitched on your clothing or purse. I would think it a bigger sign of intellect to feed a family for a month on what they spend on a hand bag, and still have cash left over for some fun.

It's not so much a gift, but a natural tendency of mine to stand outside and look in at the issues. When I see poor women who became programmed as teens to act and think that appearances are everything, I want to grab them by the shoulders and shake the piss out of them. It's not just brand names. These gals that make the evening news for having a complete breakdown- come to find out it's because they couldn't stand the thought of everyone finding out that life in their home was not the paradise it seemed from the outside. Their husband is a bastard, their kids do make messes, they really can't cook without a book, they don't really have that much money and are drowning in debt, etc.

What's the point, really? If you are living your life for others to approve of it, how do you find time to see if you approve of it? I met one of the other wives here a while back. She is a German lady, and she said she found me refreshing and wonderful. Not from appearances, mind you. But because her perception of American women is that they are so fake and pretentious. As much as I wanted to stand up for us and defend us as a whole- I couldn't.

In many ways, I am still that girl in school with the leather jacket, and a smile for the few brave enough to approach me. My attitude makes me hard to approach- but ultimately easy to talk to and befriend. When you get to know me, it is a total "you see what you get". (Oddly enough people are surprised to find I talk exactly like I write.)

My life is happier having a handful of close life long friends than a whole ass load of acquaintances. Frankly, I have little use for fly by night friends who come in, want to go for drinks, but bail when I get pissed off, upset or cry. Want to measure your friendship? Tell your friend that they are being an asshole when they are, or that, yes, in fact that outfit DOES make them look fat and dumpy... and call them the next day secure in the fact that your love and loyalty for one another is unchanged. Try being there when they are puking their guts up, or midcrisis and punching holes in walls, and see if when the crisis resolves if they are not embarrassed that you have such intimate knowledge of their dark side. It is al a part of the same issue... being okay with who I am, and who you are- even if who you are is a bitch. So long as you aren't a bitch who tries to impress me with some fake version of yourself to hide who and what you really are. That's just false advertising, and people like that fucking suck.

What do you think? Do you find it difficult to be the real you?

A new installment

Yes, yes, it's been a long time. Stopping by Jane's this morning, I realized how long it had been since we had a good old fashioned FOADT around here... so here we go.

~Fuck off and die TKS Cable, the biggest rip of artists in the world. For your constant fuck ups and your most recent one of trying to continue to bill me for a service I had turned off in February. That's 8 fucking months of me constantly telling you "That's not right. Please see to getting it fixed." I know things can take time... but Seriously... 8 months?!
Americans in the KMC! You DO have a choice over TKS for on base service... It is twice as fast and 1/3 the price... and not littered with asshole representatives.

OH! When I went in there- I said "If this doesn't get fixed, my head is going to pop off." That smug little bitch looked at me and said, (I shit you not), "Are you threatening me?;
Uhhmmmm... Even in the worst case of English as a second language nightmares did I ever think saying MY head is going to pop off would be construed as a threat. This is the same rep who has pissed me off constantly for the better part of the last 5 years when dealing with these dumb pecker weeds. I got at least 5 inches and and 50 pounds on the little bad-dye-job-bitch. If I wanted to threaten her, I would be far more succinct as to have her question IF I threatened her.... She'd know... and the threat would not be for bodily harm. I am a far more vicious bitch than that. I like to get people chewed out, reprimanded and fired. Douche Muffin working for a bunch of unethical fucktards.

~As per par, AAFES can fuck off and die. This time, for the ability of anyone to think far enough ahead of retail events to order things that will be in high demand. Like kid's jackets, or long underwear.
Or Halo 3. The whole Halo thing has my dander way up. They can't even give an answer on wether or not they have been ordered at all. Assclowns from the ninth ring of Hell! To go hand in hand with that stupidity, I was told by the kid-du-jour working that AAFES policy is to order and stock a game twice. Ever. "That's what they figure the shelf life is." Dumb bastards. Maybe you should lay off on the yearly sports games orders, and listen to your customers. They still have copies of Madden '06 out... and Rugby, and FIFA, and MLB, and NCAA.. In fact any sporting game released is pouring forth from the store shelves like puke from a wino... but games the customers have asked for? Nothin' doin'.

~The American Media can FOAD, too. Thanks for getting on the hitch and reporting about a terror plot story... that broke here in Europe days ago. Self absorbed fucks... There is a whole BIG world out here that has news in it besides the Politics of America. CNN America gets its news from CNN world? Come on! No, no... let's talk about an albino buffalo giving birth to a white buffalo calf instead.

Still...

I am still crying over my little Puss Cat. I thought today it would be better, but I can't seem to stop the tears. The thought of him sitting down there confused and scared and feeling abandoned is tearing me apart. I can't help but wonder if it would have been better if I had just had him put down... that way he wouldn't be going through cold nights alone in a cage, waiting for me to show up and take him home.

I suppose it is normal to be sad, but I find myself going through the stages of grief as if a family member had died. No, Worse. Maybe kidnapped or run away. I have even felt a chill of desperation creep over me- to have someone else go adopt him and bring him back to his family. I mean, he's already fucked up the floor... how much worse can it get? Even now, I am thinking of other ways that maybe I could have fixed the problem.

My mind is racing so fast my hair may catch fire, and behind all of it is a constant flood of tears. The lump in my throat has become so large and painful at times that I couldn't swallow or catch my breath. I am just so sad, and downtrodden with misery, guilt, and heartache.

A health tip for my readers... if you are going to go through a trauma, and will be crying for an extended period of time... Try not to do so when you are also trying to fight off a cold.

Seriously Not Cool

Today will go down in the Freud Book as a seriously fucked up day.

The morning was spent solemn and melancholy as I had an appointment to go put the little cat down. Yes, I did have an appointment to have it done last month, but the doctor talked me out of it, asking me to give the stray adoption facility time to find him a new home. As he is only happy when around kids, and that is a rarity in cats, I agreed. He missed the swing of the executioner's axe.

Once we brought him home, we doubled our efforts to get his litterbox aversion fixed, and he seemed to get worse. So I called and made a new appointment for the doctor. In the mean time I was calling the stray place 3 or 4 times a week to always be told there was not a place for him. I even called this morning in a last ditch effort to save him.... No dice.

Heartbroken, I loaded him into his carrier and took him to the vet. It took all my strength to not fly into a crying jag in the waiting room. Once the doc came in, she told me that the stray facility was going to "make room" for him. Miracle of miracles.... But I still cried my eyes out having the leave him there. When the lady came to get him, he was standing on the exam table, trying to crawl on my shoulder, purring his ass off- letting me know he was ready to go home now.

Not the typical cat, he has never been away from us. He was born in our closet, has never been outside, and never been boarded. Tonight he sleeps in a cold kennel cell, surrounded by the sounds of strange animals (never been around dogs, either), unable to see where he is, and has no little boy to cuddle up with. I know, I know... Animals aren't people, but they do feel a sense of confusion and abandonment... And I know as sure as I sit here that he is waiting and expecting me to come walking in any minute to pick him up and bring him home.... like after he was neutered.

I can only hope they find him a good home with a wonderful little kid to love, and an understanding family who will be patient with his blindness. The realist inside is being told to shut the fuck up regarding the likelyhood of a family adopting a blind cat with a history of peeing in front of his box. Oh, my GOD! He's such a sweet animal, and it is tearing me up inside that we had to get rid of him. The guilt I am bearing is almost more than I can stand. I am totally heartbroken and crushed, and I don't really know how to deal with it... except to cry through the loss of a family member and heal a little every day. I miss him wandering around the house so much, and feel so terrible about where he is sitting right now.

For now, I am going to print and frame a picture of our little Loki Puss for son to keep on his desk.

KMC Strays

Chicken Soup for my Head...

It took a lot less time than I thought it would. Usually when school starts, I expect one or both of the kids to get sick within two weeks of classes starting. Took 4 days. Last night Rach came out here sounding like a baby with croup, and complaining of a headache.Yippee Skippy.

She stayed home from school today, and I was actually able to keep her resting for most of the time. (Cartoons on a big screen make a wonderful tranquilizer.) This afternoon, K2 started showing similar symptoms. Fucking awesome, right? We are supposed to head out for Heidelberg tomorrow for some sight seeing- I am hoping it still happens... We'll see. Otherwise I get to do the super mom/wonder wife thing of caring for a house full of sick people and try like hell not to come down with the crap-du-jour that goes hand in hand with the school year.

Tonight, I was commissioned by the sickies to make chicken soup... So I am doing that rare thing I do and sharing a recipe of mine. As it is all mine- original and everything.

Better Than My Mom's Chicken Soup

Whole Chicken
8 skinless/Boneless Chicken Thighs
Olive Oil
1/2 stick Butter (REAL butter)
2 Cloves Garlic
Med Onion
2 Whole stalks Celery
Kosher Salt
Pepper Grinder
Baby Carrots
Can Green Beans
Small Can of Button Mushrooms
Minute Rice

1 med onion, 2 stalks of celery (including the leaves) and 2 cloves of crushed garlic into a large stock pot with a few tablespoons of olive oil to sweat for 10 min.
Skin-yes SKIN- and cut up a whole chicken into quarters, removing the wings and back bone. Toss out the wings and skin/Save backbone. Add chicken to pot, with 8 boneless/skinless thighs, and back bone. Cover with 1-2 inches water and return to med high heat, covered. Boil for 45 min to an hour.
Pull out all meat/bones from broth. Debone chicken pieces, and cut up all chicken into small bite size pieces. In the mean time, add 1/2 stick of butter to stock. (throw out bones, and reserve white meat chunks)
Return meat to stock pot, and add about 10 baby carrots cut into small pieces. Cook over med high heat uncovered for 20ish minutes. Taste and add (kosher) salt, ground pepper, parsley flakes... keep the water level about 1-1.5 inches above meat- or add canned broth but you shouldn't need it).
Add 2/3 can whole green beans, and one small can button mushrooms. 3/4 cup of minute rice, and stir for about a minute. Add white meat back if you wish. Remove entire pot from heat and slap the cover on. Let stand for 10 minutes.
Stir and enjoy. If it is too thick- add a little water... too thin, return to heat for a minute and add a smidge more rice. It should be chock-full-o- shit with only a little broth.... like stew without the gravy.

Guaranteed to make even the biggest sickie in your house feel a little better... and no- it can't be made with noodles. Noodles that sit in broth turn into wall paper paste, and that's just gross. If you must have noodles instead of rice- make them separately and pour the soup over them in the bowl. Never add them to the pot. Over cooked noodles are just... fucking GROSS.