Indulgence

Last week I celebrated a big anniversary. It has been one year of uterus free living for me. Nothing has changed since, really (Except the absence of the horrible symptoms the accompanied my 21 day cycle of menses)... I still wince at pregnant women, and despise the thought of diapers, potty training, and the use of the word "No" 400% more than now. Not that I didn't enjoy my kids as little guys-I did. But they were mine. :) Uterus free is for me! No more painfully crippling cramping, and days of mess. I was fearful I might have regret over the loss of my child bearing years. That one day I may want another child, and it not be an option. And then- I go out and see other people's kids acting like shitheads, see my kids acting right, and know I did the right thing. There is no way I would want to start from the beginning again- with "No." and "Hot." and "Don't touch."... with diapers, and bottles, and baby gates. No way I could start over with toddler discipline, and tantrums, etc....

On that note...
*begin rant*
On my other site a woman made a post regarding her toddler acting the ass in a store by screaming in the cart. She insisted that not giving in to him by paying attention to it was her way of dealing with his asinine behavior in the store. It's a good idea, but the concept is entirely flawed.

Should your child become one of those screaming fucking brats in the commissary/BX/Wal-mart there are a few things obvious to me. In the past his screaming shit has gotten him what he wants- at least at some part- either the candy/toy/attention... at home, should your child start a screaming purple faced tantrum it is absolutely the right thing to do to walk away, and leave the little shit where he flops, and let him scream, kick and fit to his hearts content, while you busy yourself with dishes, needlepoint, or a shower.

The store is not a place to do this kind of thing. Why? Because you may be ignoring the little bastard's screaming and thinking you are proving something to him... you're not. What you are proving is "I will not pay attention to your bad behavior... but everyone else in the store will, and your screaming can embarrass me, and punish me for not giving in to you." Kids are incredibly intuitive. They notice me and the 15 other people in the aisles looking at him acting like a shit. He's getting his attention, lady, trust me- and he knows he is making you feel stupid and inadequate. Hey, let's not forget people like me, who have kids who know how to act in public, and don't want to listen to your screaming brat having a tantrum. Take the little bastard home, then institute above policy of letting him tantrum all by himself until he passes out or pukes.

How did my kids learn to behave in a store? Well, it wasn't through a nice pretty Doctor Spock method of quiet words and reasoning. When my son started to pitch a fit in the commissary, I told him once, "It stops, or we leave and go home, where you will be punished, and get nothing." He didn't stop. Guess what? I grabbed him, my daughter, (who was an infant at the time), and my purse and left the store. I walked out, dragging a kicking screaming child, and left a full cart full of groceries standing in the aisle where he started his shit.

Thinking back, I specifically remember I needed milk and other basic staples that day- but nothing was so crucial that it couldn't wait 3 hours for Daddy to get home, so I could go back to the store without the kids. When I left for the store later- I made damn sure my son knew I was going back- and that I would not only be going without him- but that he would not be getting anything special from the trip.

This practice stands to this day. Never would I consider making other people listen to my screaming child while he is acting like a shit as a viable practice. Does it make me a total bitch that I don't want to hear your fucking brat doing his impression of an air raid siren while I am shopping? How about you stupid bastards who let your kids run around restaurants while the food is being prepared, because it is easier than making them sit down and be still? Oh yes, the rule stands in eating establishments too... act foolish- we leave. Period. One day I may talk about the night I left the Olive Garden in the middle of our meal, taking my son outside, and asking the server to bring the check to me there.

The bottom line for me... get control of your children. If you can't do it right then and there- remove them from the situation and deal with them. Make a point of DEALING with your children. That does not include letting him fire off his face like a fire engine siren while you act like Helen Keller, and continue to shop for your shit. It is not a negotiation, or reasoning that is always needed... "No." is a complete sentence, and if you teach them that early enough life will be easier. For you, for them... and for me.

It's pretty bad when my kid looks at me and comments about how terrible your kids act. Don't wanna be the bad mean guy when they are two or five years old because you have to discipline them? Can't handle making them upset or listening to them cry? Be prepared to be the bad parent standing in the principal's office when they are ten- or the court room when they are nineteen.

*end rant*