Too Far

SO, as I was sitting here doing my etoys order for the big Santa delivery, I stumbled across something that fucking floored me. An Action figure. Not just any action figure mind you. This isn't Superman or Wolverine. Oh, No sir! We gots us a Jesus Christ action figure. Wait... what? Jesus ACTION FIGURE? I had to include the picture to show I am not full of shit.

Since when did a prophet of old, known for peace and kindness, and love for his fellow man become an "Action Figure"? Damn- he doesn't even have karate chop action or a cool red cape and boots... Maybe he has the Miraculous Super Sandals, and Head Busting Loin Cloth under his frock. OOOooooh, you know what would be cool? If he had a button that made him float in someway that looked like walking on water. Seriously... What the fuck? I am all about people's freedom of faith and teaching your kids about "________"< (Insert supreme being of power here). But COME ON! a Jesus doll in stead of a spiderman? Maybe next year they can come out with a John the Baptist doll, complete with river dunking action and detachable head.

Can you imagine being that poor little kid who asked Santa for a Megatron Transformer and gets a non-karate chopping Christ? How do you explain that shit to your friends at school? "I got an Xbox 360! What did you get for Christmas, Billy?" ..."I got a talking plastic Jesus."... and then poor Billy would get his ass kicked. Yep- I think even at the best catholic school in the state- he would still get an ass whoopin' on the playground. I could see it as a gag gift for your favorite pastor- but if you are that tight with your ministry- I suggest a fruit basket...or a blow up sheep.

I know there are dolls that go the way opposite direction and are equally fucked up.... I don't let my daughter have "Bratz" dolls, as they look like street walking whores, and the whole line's premise is based on mall strutting in make up put on with a stucco trowel to get boys... they also don't have noses- and that's just creepy. As for my son- I have never found X-men or the Fantastic Four to be a bad thing for a boy to have... Super heroes are cool shit. Yeah, yeah, Jesus is cool shit too- but not as a toy- and I am quite certain that a kid could end up in long term adult therapy for having the kind of parents that would buy him a Christ over a Spiderman.

By the by- check the shipping price on that bitch... $139.00. For that amount I would think it would at least come with Romans to smite- or Pharisees to blind... At least it could include a cross... I don't care who ya are- that shit is just wrong.