How Do They Find Me?

Okay... seriously- be afraid. These sick fuckers walk amongst us. How do these bastards find MY site interesting? If they are looking for that kind of trash- what would prmpt them to think, "Hmmmm... maybe I'll go read THAT." Ick.
Anyways- the search engine hits for this month...

**what stores sell freuds therapy eight ball **
Freud used a Magic 8-Ball for diagnosis? WTF?
**vogelweh whore house **
Hmmm... must be moving here soon, huh, pal? Don't think there is a whore house, but you can do what the other guiys do- go pick up the skanks in the local bars.
**military wife pap smear how often?**
I can't imagine why you think that military wives get more or less pussy check ups that other girls...
**water smells like corn **
Dude... write me to tell me where you live. I never want to go there.
**vista = the biggest pice o-shit ever**
Couldn't agree more, even if you can't use the spell check function.
**kidnapped tortured balls busted**
I thought I had a tough life. Seek Therapy.... From somewhere else.

And now we get on to the really sick fuckers that scare us all... because they could be your neighbor or co-worker... And their searches defy logic. These bastards should not HAVE computers.

**husbands boss cock**
Either you and your husband need couples counseling and therapy, or your old man works for a chicken farmer.
**she saw my camel toe when spanked**
Get some better fitting pants before engaging in S&M, or any ass beating activities.
**suck ass next erotic story**
I feel like this was prompted by an incomplete thought... and drugs. ALOT of drugs.
**job girls fuck by masters/owners**
What in the hell is a job girl? Regular SM&B not enough for you, dude? They DO have videos out there for pervs like you- but why did you come to MY site looking for them?
**spanked in my old school uniform by mom**
Hello, Jerry? Jerry Springer? Is that you?
**wife hates fistfuck**
I am gonna have to go with your wife on this one, guy, sorry. Seriously. Maybe if you let her ram a golf club or bowling pin up your ass, she'd be more receptive.
**how to get your wife to fuck another man**
Show her the shit you surf for on the internet... she'll divorce you and be off with another guy in NO time.

There are two I will be abstaining from posting as they are really disturbing- and I may contact my hosting company to see if the IPs should be turned in to law enforcement for investigation. Seriously. Really fucked up shit that I can not abide. In any case...

What is the most bazaar thing you have searched for on the net?

Credit Sucks

~The financial panties of America are wadded. While it has sent our gas prices up quite a bit, it doesn't affect us much yet... yes, our COLA is staying right where it is, as prices in America rise, but we don't shop off base, and we don't buy much extra stuff, or eat out often... So, other than watching the government run the dollar into the dirt like a spectator sport, it phases me very little.

We don't have a house and mortgage, and I don't see us having one for quite some time. Good thing- as I have found out our credit sucks. Not because we are in debt up to our ears, but because we don't owe anyone any money. We get paid, we pay our living expenses, and we put some in savings. I don't write out checks to Visa and Mastercard every month... and when I see people on TV with $50,000+ in credit card debt, I sit here with a really puzzled look on my face. How does one spend that much money that they don't have? How does a bank keep giving them MORE money that they don't have if they can't afford what they already have- and yet if I were to ask that same bank for a credit card, they shit on me and laugh me out the door?

We have one credit card with a really low limit- basically enough to buy a set of tires if they explode- and it has a balance of around $20. We have no car loans, no rent, no store accounts, and no lines of credit. All of our money is ours. It is for school lunches and gas and groceries... not AMEX or a GM car loan.

Somehow this makes us a bad risk... we have to owe money to borrow money. So to get a good mortgage rate in a few years, we have to borrow money right now that we don't need, so we can pay back more than we borrowed... for money we didn't need in the first place. What. The. Fuck. Oh, and the fact that we are military works against us, not for us, even though being military would make it EASIER to track us down than Joe Blow Asshole if we did default. Really makes no fucking sense- but I guess that's business.

It sucks.

Terra What?

First off, I don't know what the fuck a Terra Nova test actually does. I don't know what function it serves other than to pigeon hole kids into... fuck I don't even know that. I assume it is like the third grade equivalent of the SATs... but then I wasn't required to take the SAT, I had to give up a Saturday morning for the SATs. It is my assumption Terra Nova is part of the testing schools give kids in order to make sure they are getting their funding by meeting quotas. One site says... "Terra Nova is a standardized achievement test designed to provide achievement scores that are valid for most types of educational decision-making." So... is that on a school wide scale, or do they use his score to help him? It's somewhat vague at best. I bet it is part of that bullshit "No Child Left Behind" piece of bloated horseshit legislation that helps fewer kids than previous educational plans ever did. I would like some clarification of how these scores will be used to help the individual students once the results are calculated. In so much as I have found- the states make the tests... hmm... too many years of kids scoring poorly- they make the tests easier, or completely revamp the educational system to teach more or better? (Some kind of who-do about AZ from scanning the google results) It's a mind screw for sure.

In any case, they are having terra nova testing this week for my son. They had practice tests for it. The teacher sent home notes to remind us to give the kids "good breakfasts" with protein, and told us to send snacks and water bottles. (Shouldn't they encourage that every day?) The notes home asked for ensuring good sleep too. Shit, with all that, makes it sound pretty fucking scary. Like they are preparing for some kind of kiddie brain marathon.

Unfortunately, my son is not there. He is in bed, sick. A new form of crap is floating around the schools. In fact two weeks ago the school nurse sent out a letter because assclown parents were dosing their kids with Tylenol in the morning to mask fevers and symptoms and sending them to school. (Notice I used the word "mask" there? Hiding a fever or pain does not cure it.) Fucking stupid ass parents using the school as a daycare, and infecting my family with some creeping funk. The letter from the nurse said that there were kids coming into her office, not only with colds, but STREP and fifth's disease. Fucking FIFTH'S DISEASE?! (That's human Parvo, by the way.)

So, the boy-o is home for the second day in a row. The woman in the school office said a lot kids are out with it- including her own. I called Peds to try and get him in and they have no appointments today- go figure since so many kids are ill with the disease du jour. So it's a triaminic day, thanks to fucking asshole parents sending their gutter rats to school sick because they won't call their boss and stay home.

Maybe I can use the time to figure out what the fuck these tests are really for, as he will spend the better part of next week doing make up tests.

It's Rare

I know it is incredibly rare that I say anything about politics... as a whole the subject is overdone. Especially now- as with the self centered American Media, no one is talking about anything else. However, there are times when I have to say something, like now.

We have a very interesting group of people running for the office of president, don't we? Now I am not going to get off on some diatribe here, but let me get a few things out.

Senator John McCain is just too fucking old... Beyond the fact that he is going to be as much a war monger as Bush- even if he does carry on about it with a softer voice... But he so OLD. Not that he isn't sharp or on his game- but fuck man, how can someone that old represent ME? He's geriatric. He was alive during WWII! He was a teenager when Einstein was warning about the destructive power of the Nuclear Bomb! Christ on Crutches! He was in the same war as Elvis Presley- you know, when Elvis was young and yummy?
As far as his know how and "experience" I can't say much for how he can manage the infrastructure of our country. Wanna know why? Have you SEEN the fucking roads in Phoenix? I bet Pima Road is STILL under construction. Has been since I was a kid. So has Tatum Blvd where I remember driving past his election signs in high school. It seems that once they finally pull the bulldozers off the north end of the street, they run them right back down to the south end and start digging holes all over again. Now I don't know what that costs- but I'm sure it's an assload. One day, (about 7 year ago) we had driven through the intersection of 75th ave and northern. Huge hole in the middle of the road. A few days later, they were paving it over and it was fixed. We went to Vegas for the weekend and I shit you not, when we came back four days later, that freshly paved intersection had a hole in the middle again. I should like to think it is atypical, but it's not. I wonder how expensive that is... wanna try and imagine that on a national scale on an economy that is already weak?

Senator Clinton... If she cries she is called soft and seen too womanly, the rest of the time she is seen as an ice queen, and a cold hard bitch. If I wanted to be president- I would be a bit of a bitch too... Just as a woman I would have to be rough to live through half of th shit she has, much less her husband splatting spooge on some others woman's dress in his office- which just HAPPENS to be the oval office. Having a vagina and aIl have to commend her on all of her efforts and work. She stood by him, when he fucked up- she was right there, chin up and proud- even though you know she probably wanted to beat the shit out of him. All her work in health care, etc, and her work in the senate- good on her.

Senator Obama... now I don't have much to say about the man. He is highly intelligent and articulate. I don't think he knows shit about how to run a country., and I think if he made it to the white house it is something that would be exploited by governments and our own politicians alike, but that is not to say he wouldn't be able to do a good job.... Just not sure the white house is the best place to do on the job government training. I would like to believe he would stand up for the littleguy, and blah blah blah that he promises- but saying you'll jump the grand canyon, and then actually making the jump once you're on the ramp are two different things.

Not to harp the Obama issue too hard... but I did see something that caught my eye about the double standard and sexism in this country that no one wants to talk about... If a young woman with only two years of experience in the U.S. Senate wanted to run for President... how far would she get? Seriously- let's be pragmatic. A woman in her mid 40's announces her candidacy with only two years in public office, and wants to run the country... diplomacy, military, finances, education... With only two years of public service behind her resume. Does she make it nationally? This is nothing about Senator Clinton being a woman- but more about Barrack being a man. Did his campaign get going more on the novelty of a black man running for office, and then picked up steam? Would it be different for a relatively inexperienced black woman? If Barrack was white, or a woman where would he be, based on his resume only?

Discuss...

FOAD

A short but sweet ode to assholes... Errand running sucks. It sucks more when complicated but some stupid bitch who thinks herself to god damned good to have to find a parking space like everyone else.

Whilst trying to finish out my running about yesterday, I was forced to go to Pulaski to drop off some forms. Now Pulaski is a little inclusive POS part of the base where we keep the USO, thrift shop and civilian perso... you know what? Suffice it to say it is where they put the army and their programs that are side-notes, i.e. the Veterinarian is up there too. I digress. This little stretch of property has a single two lane road that runs right thought the center- and if you need to turn around- screw you buster- you have to drive ALL the way to the end. The parking is limited by the fact that it is lined up along the sides of the road, unless you want to pull off into one of the few parking lots and walk half a mile to the office you are visiting.

Instant frustration, just add asshole, and aren't I blessed that one made herself readily available to the situation. Some bitch in her fucking 45K dollar Escalade decided she was too fucking good to go park behind the thrift shop half a block up to wait for whothefuckever she was waiting for. She pulled her big ass up near the ass end of the parked cars and put on her hazard lights. Keep in mind there is really no place to pull it over up there, just butt your fat ass, over priced, over sized, piece of shit car inches from the cars parked legally, and leaving the majority of your car hanging into the narrow two lane road, and blocking up traffic.

As I had missed the office the first time around (I don;t make it up there often), I noticed she was there, but as I was going to other way, I didn;t think much of it, except "What an asshat." To the end of the road I go to turn around. I came back, and having to wait behind her fat ass car for 3 other cars to pass so I could go around, I parked behind the thrift shop and walked across... now, keep in mind- she was sitting there as if waiting for someone who would be right out- thus far, I had spent about 6 or 7 minutes in driving parking and walking... Her piece of shit was still sitting there. To make my frustration a tad worse, she was in the car on her fucking cell phone, chatting away. What a bitch!

Having run my errand, and come back on my way to the car, the fucking hag was still sitting there, hazards on, waiting- maybe for the second coming of Christ. When I went to pull out on to the street, her stupid ass had traffic tiptoeing around her, and therefore making it move slowly so I had to sit there and wait. I even saw other people in their cars making the "WTF Face" and they craned their necks around to ensure the next thing they saw wasn't the hood of another car crashing into their own.

SO, this is to the fucking whore bag who thought she was too fucking good to go park her fucking car like everyone else. You and your sense of entitlement can kiss my fat ass.

I don't fucking get how someone can do shit like that. It ain't 7-11, and it is just really fucking rude to inconvenience others with your stubbornness and inconsideration. Even if you thought that swinging dick you suck would be right out- when he didn't show right back up, go park your fucking car, twat! Don't call your facebook gal pals and plan your next cock tease party, while I am trying to see around your piece of shit to make sure I am not going to get hit by oncoming traffic.

It is not so much her in particular- but all these fucking people who walk around with this sense of entitlement and privilege, that the rules don't apply to them. Now I am all for bucking the system- but that's in the face of bad business, financial injustices, etc- (like AAFES, or Dell) ... I don't endorse dumb shit like being an asshole in traffic because I am too god damned good to walk half a block. You're not making a statement- your just being a fuckstick. FOAD I hope your $45K car gets side swiped... I can think of no one more deserving.

What I Know So Far

I have a list! It's a list of shit to get done- in the near future and for the next 2 or so months... knowing me, approximately 50% or more will go forever undone, unstarted and will eventually be deemed a "fuck it" project, and unworthy of bothering with it.

Scanning website after website for information, I have come to some conclusions.
~Few Realtors in the US know about Grand Forks, ND.
~98% of he Realtors who work in Grand Forks ND don't know or give a shit about the internet
~Landlords in Grand Forks ND are out to fuck the military with rent rates twice that of the mortgages- (Yes, PITI)- on their homes.
~Home and Apartment builders in Grand Forks are not so good at square footage, and/or privacy, building and renting homes with a different family on each floor, giving them all of 1000 sq feet to themselves and some shared facilities.
~They are also not big believers in washers and dryers coming with the rental home... I did see one who had a coin operated washer and dryer in the basement. (Using quarters to do clothes in my own basement? WTF?
~Landlords in Grand Forks hate animals and pets.

I have gotten in touch with some people in the housing office there in El Grande Forko- and they are sending me some information on the base housing, and the off base housing that we will no doubt be living in through the 6-12 month waiting list. Now I am beginning to mind screw on what we need to put into storage when we leave so we don't end up walking on our furniture to get from one end of the house to the other until we can get on-base housing.

I have many phone calls to make. Calls to property managers who will tell me anything I want to hear if they think they will be getting a nice finders fee. Fuckers. Calls to the base offices about having the kids in school on base as they will be making a hard adjustment, not only from overseas but from a DoD school. Calls about medical care- especially a good shrink- God knows I am gonna need one after this...

In the mean time, I am going through the "extras" closet and vacuum bagging shit we keep, marking shit we sell, and tossing shit we don't use. I know I will end up getting there this summer, looking for something I got rid of and cussing myself out, but fuck it. I want it gone. I may even list some of the shit here- free to good home etc. Anyone in the market for an assload of little girl's clothes?